Some months ago, there was a students’ protest in campus. The demands included hostel problems, fees issues and longer PhD duration. As a repurcussion, some (I am not sure whether all) departments were asked by the director to conduct meetings with students to get their feedback. The feedback was to include department specific as well as the institute related concerns, which would be tackled by the appropriate authorities.
CSA research students (MSc+PhD) were asked to attend a meeting with emphasis on “compulsory to attend”. The meeting was held on Apr 04, 2009 in CEDT Conference Hall where students cribbed and gave suggestions for improvement. They were promised that each of the grievances would be answered within six months.
Post-meeting, some student and faculty committees were formed to take care of certain departmental issues, like increasing library timings, etc. However I am not aware what happened next. One observation is that students are very good at cribbing, but when it comes to taking a responsibility for a task, hardly anybody comes forward.
If my calculations are correct, six months ended on Oct 04, 2009 and if CSA mail server is working fine, then I haven’t received any mail regarding an answer.
Here is the complete list of feedback items.
phd glossary.
Oct 5, 2009interview: An event similar to the one before marriage where a boy and his family visits a girl’s house to judge her. The only difference is that in case of PhD interview, the interviewee has to visit the interviewers’ room to get judged.
admission: A program specially designed to get rid of obesity. Losing weight is a prerequisite for doing research and this program ensures it by the following means.
advisor/guide:
co-guide: One side of the game Beench ka bandar (a monkey in the middle).
rtp: Research Training Program. A formal way to waste a semester.
assignment: A program especially designed for promoting open source movement.
course project: A phenomenon that allows an instructor to believe that students have not opted for any other course.
semester: Four months of rigorous imprisonment.
summer holidays: Time of the academic year when advisor goes on leave giving 50 research papers to the student for reading with a goodbye note, “Happy Holidays.”.
internship: A way to make money during PhD.
literature survey: Selection of less unreadable research papers from the more unreadable ones. This phenomenon is empirically found to create the most conducive environment for sleeping.
perspective seminar: A wake up call for advisor and student.
comprehensive examination:
conference: A trash can.
journal: A material that adds elasticity to your PhD and extends its duration.
program committee: The poor souls who sort out a better trash from the good one.
research paper: Outcome of the ingeniousness of transforming 2 pages into 10.
call for papers: A phenomenon that triggers most of the research in the world.
abstract submission: A reminder to start writing a research paper.
submission deadline:
title: An interplay of the heaviest keywords cleverly adapted from the literature with the guarantee of being unique.
abstract: Well, abstract.
introduction: A section of the research paper to increase expectations of the reader without meeting them.
background/preliminaries: A methodical way to meet page requirement.
related work: A section where researchers write in detail about the remotely similar ideas and briefly mention or thoughtfully miss the closest ones. The section also offers a platform for taking a shot at your research rival.
conclusion: Table of content in past tense.
future work: It constitutes of two aspects: (i) suggesting ideas not implemented by you that you are sure of not implementing in the future, and (ii) not talking about the ideas you are actually going to implement next.
bibliography: A space provided to improve your own h-index.
paper submission: A false belief carried for next two months of having done work.
rebuttal period: Time when you, the accused, is brought to the court for trial.
paper rejection: Prevailing of reality that triggers your self say, “I could not fool them.”.
paper acceptance: A drug to boost your morale triggering you to think of normal human activities like girl-friend, marriage, kids, job, etc.
citation: A legal way to show the place where you performed the robbery.
colloquium: An institutional method to ask around how to beautify the trash you have created.
thesis: An act of violence against trees.
defense: A formal way for the advisor to say to his student, “I can’t take you anymore.”.
convocation: A function that marks starting of your explanation, “No, I am not a medical doctor.”.
phd: Doctor of Philosophy. A degree that only you and your parents care about. It is also used by girls’ parents to decide whom not to let their daughters get married.
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