bhOndOO goes for swimming.

A discussion was on amongst colleagues when Shami said, “I feel sad that I don’t know swimming. According to my kundali, I would die of drowning.”. bhOndOO felt worse: partly because Shami would die, but mainly because he also did not know swimming. He wanted to say, “Shami dear, I would die, but will save you!”. But his thought process got interrupted by Gullu’s proud remark, “I know swimming.”, looking at Shami.

bhOndOO sadness turned into jealousy and then into anger. Proving that ladies create history, he decided to go to the institute swimming pool the next morning. He enquired with BenJi who told him to go to the swimming pool at 06:00. It was a bit too early for bhOndOO, but he decided to jump in.

The alarm promptly shouted at 05:30, the next day. bhOndOO silenced it without remembering its purpose. He started dreaming of Shami and found her drowning. At once, he opened his eyes, jumped out of bed, got ready, and with sleepy eyes went to the swimming pool. The security guard did not allow him to enter, for 06:00-07:00 was ladies’ swimming time.

bhOndOO wrote in BenJi’s kundali that he would die of bhOndOO’s punches.

bhOndOO also got the entry form that needed to be filled. He returned to the swimming pool the next day at 07:00, submitted the filled form and entered. He removed his clothes and went straight to Mr Lahiri who was the swimming coach.

Mr Lahiri asked him to go back and get bathed under shower. “What the hell!”, bhOndOO thought, “I came here to swim in the pool and Lahiri Sir is asking me to take bath under shower! Did he come to know that I haven’t taken bath since three days?”. Sir glanced at him and threw his explanation, “One needs to get wet before entering the pool.”. “Oh!”.

After returning, bhOndOO was surprised to see that there were many people on one end of the pool while the other end was almost empty. The messages “Depth 1m” and “Depth 5m” gave him the explanation. He thought of Shami and felt like jumping in. He was disappointed by Mr Lahiri who asked him to enter the pool on the empty end using stairs and start preliminary leg-movement holding the wall-slit for water. bhOndOO started with his lesson.

bhOndOO started thinking of his teacher’s round tummy. He started doubting whether he really knew swimming! Mr Lahiri held a long wooden rod and was wearing a towel. bhOndOO concluded that Mr Lahiri would not be knowing swimming, for if he jumps into the pool, there would be no water left inside.

“Try to lift your belly above water… Immerse your head into water!”, Lahiri Sir shouted. bhOndOO thought that Lahiri Sir came to know what he was thinking of him, and started concentrating on swimming. He immersed his face below water and found his body coming above water. He felt nice. He inserted it again and tried to lift the body up — holding the wall slit. He got a bit involved and forgot to come up for breathing just in time and water gushed inside his nose. He coughed and blew water (and other jelly like material) away from the nose in the wall-slit. He then held his head above water and restarted the leg-movement. After some time, his mind again got diverted to think of a swimming pool with Shami and he in it. He then started dreaming about saving Shami from a flood.

So engrossed was he in the thoughts that he felt as if the flood water was entering his mouth. He further imagined that he lost Shami’s hand and was wondering around in the water. When he started finding it difficult to breathe, he realized that he was not imagining, but was actually under water! His hands slipped off (his own) slimy substance on the wall-slit and he was actually drowning himself! He was only a feet under water, but he felt himself deep down. Buoyancy pushed him up and his head reached above water. He shouted, “Help! Help!” looking at Mr Lahiri, but Lahiri Sir was unimpressed. He kept looking at bhOndOO. bhOndOO went down again. He started cycling and hand-movement very fast, but was not able to float up. He felt that Lahiri Sir was actually the avatar of Yama — the god of death. He got the grand realization why Sir was so fat!

bhOndOO was actually experiencing death! But suddenly, he felt a touch of something like a stick, and bhOndOO, without thinking, got hold of it. The stick pulled him vertically and then horizontally, and he came above water to the pool corner. He was saved! Mr Lahiri had used his wooden rod to help him come to life!

Holding the wall-slit with both hands, coughing, clearing the slimy substance with water, bhOndOO rewrote history: he never returned to the swimming pool.

Update: This post was published in Oct 2007 issue of Voices, IISc newsletter.


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7 Responses to “bhOndOO goes for swimming.”

  1. csa website. « iisc life. Says:

    […] learning swimming — not again! […]

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    […] blog entry bhOndOO goes for swimming. is selected to be put into the next issue of […]

  3. bhOndOO - Life of a student researcher « Bangalog Says:

    […] die Adresse und meine Lieblingsgeschichten: Blog Adresse: bhOndOO goes for swimming A mobile in the lab A snake in department (war wohl wirklich ne Schlange hier) Coffe with Shami […]

  4. bhOndOO decides to commit suicide. « iisc life. Says:

    […] starts evaluating each idea. He straight-away rejects the last idea. He has experienced drowning once and he knows how it is like. What is the point in trying it again? I should try something new. He […]

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  6. two lessons. « iisc life. Says:

    […] laughing over the morning incident. In the morning, bhOndOO did not want to enter water because of a previous incident. However, according to the law of masses, he was thrown into the […]

  7. csa website. « Apkmnp's Blog Says:

    […] learning swimming — not again! […]

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