Archive for February, 2008

being punctual.

Feb 24, 2008

Madhu is known to be very punctual. For all the Voices (IISc newsletter) meetings, she is the first person to reach. She makes sure that everyone who is late is made aware that he/she is late. This is okay because Madhu also makes sure that everyone gets a reminder for the meeting much before the meeting begins.

Over the emails, it gets decided that the next Voices meeting would be on Tuesday at 11:00 at Tea Board. bhOndOO needs to get his program implemented and working before 10:00, since he has a meeting about it with his advisor. As usual, he gets into the nightout mode. He finishes the implementation at 01:00, removes two minor bugs by 02:00, and is still debugging at 04:00. He is too much tired to carry on. He finally manages to remove the bug at 04:15 and the program starts dancing. bhOndOO also starts dancing.

He reaches his room by 05:00. He sets an alarm for 08:50 (to just manage the breakfast) and crashes in bed. He has just started dreaming about his advisor, compilers and dragons when his sleep is disturbed by an irritating tune of his mobile. He picks it up, clicks the receive button and shouts, “Hello?”. No one answers. He looks at the screen and realizes that the tune was of receiving an SMS. He checks the time: 06:30. “It must be an important message.”, bhOndOO hastily opens the message. It is from Madhu, “Mrng ppl! A gentl remindr. Voices mtg at 11am at tea board 2day! Sunshine, madhu”.

bhOndOO rechecks the time: 06:30. “Is this girl in her senses? Is this a time to send an SMS? That too for a meeting which is after four and a half hours!”. bhOndOO gets very agitated. “But what should I do now? Shall I sleep until 08:50 or wait for another hour for the breakfast and then sleep?”. He chooses the latter option and decides to keep awake for another hour — anyway, bhOndOO has lost his sleep because of anger.

At 07:45, he gets breakfast and he is back in bed at 08:00. His reset alarm promptly wakes him up at 09:30 and he is in his advisor’s room at 10:00. They finish discussion by 10:30 and bhOndOO starts walking lazily towards tea board for the meeting.

“Madhu’s SMS created all the trouble, otherwise, I had planned my sleep nicely. Now the whole day would go waste! Why is she so punctual? It is okay that she is, but one need not be insane!”. bhOndOO’s empty mind runs for options. He sees tall and handsome Rogers coming from front.

“Hey Rogers, can you do me a favour?”. After that bhOndOO tells him a few things to which Rogers does not agree initially. But when bhOndOO assures him that he would allow him to copy his Computer Networks assignment, Rogers agrees.

“It is 10:50. I should leave for tea board.”, Madhu tells herself. She comes out of the Department of Management Studies and starts walking towards the underpass to reach tea board. Just before entering the underpass, a tall and handsome young man approaches her and asks, “Are you Madhu from Management Studies?”.

Madhu is a bit shocked at first — to see a handsome young man already knowing her name. She hesitantly claims, “Yes I am. What’s the matter?”.

The young man puts forth his hand for a firm handshake and introduces, “I am Rogers from IIM Ahmedabad. We have arranged a competition to improve the involvement of women in management research. This is strictly by nomination and your name is nominated by Mr bhOndOO. I hope you know him.”.

“bhOndOO? Nominated my name? I didn’t know I had such a nice impression on him? I used to always wonder, he disliked me being over-punctual.”, Madhu thought and then continued in the management style, “Yes, I know him. A very good chap.”.

“Yes, indeed. Therefore, we wanted to ask you a few questions related to your work and your aspirations. Can you spare 10 min?”.

“Actually Rogers, I have a meeting right now. Can we discuss this post lunch?”.

“I am sorry, Madhu. But I need to submit the report and interview details by noon over email. If the meeting is not so urgent, can we have the interview now? Please.”.

Madhu agrees. Finally, it is the first time in her life that she is getting interviewed — that too from a handsome man from IIMA. For the next 30 min, she answers many personal, social, professional and political questions posed by Rogers related to the role of, abilities of and opportunities for women in the area of management research. She narrates the stories of her own life and tells about her inspirations in the field. Rogers notes down a few things promptly. Towards the end, Rogers tells her not to disclose the interview to anyone per rules of the competition. Madhu agrees, then Rogers asks her for her email id and affirms her that she would hear from IIMA soon. Then they have another firm handshake and Rogers bids adieu to her.

Madhu gets very excited and reaches for the Voices meeting at 11:30. Everyone starts looking at Madhu with strange eyes. She has to apologize to everyone, and then she smiles at bhOndOO. bhOndOO smiles back — but Madhu does not understand. Only when everyone starts laughing, does she realize that something is wrong.

Madhu is still waiting for an email from IIMA.

the bet on orkut profile views.

Feb 24, 2008

Feb 17, 2008:

Gullu is showing-off in front of others at the snacks table that his profile gets viewed by almost 100 times per day! “I am so popular.”, Gullu proudly remarks.

“Wow yaar!”, “Is it 100 different persons or someone special viewing 100 times?”, “How do you manage that man?”, are a few reactions.

bhOndOO is getting agitated with this show-off business — especially because it is going on in front of Shami. But bhOndOO keeps silent. Suddenly, Gullu turns to bhOndOO, “How many visitors do you have, bhOndOO?”, and starts smiling. Everyone around the table starts giggling. BenJi says, “1 in 100 days.”, and everyone bursts into laughter.

bhOndOO takes it seriously and puts a bet, “Within a week, I will have more total profile views than anyone of you!”. Gullu thinks about the last bet, realizes that there is no possibility of getting cheated and accepts the challenge.

Status: Gullu’s total profile views = 5000, bhOndOO’s total profile views = 200.

Feb 18, 2008:

Each one of the 500+ persons in the orkut friend list of Gullu gets a message, “Hi there! If you wish to have a treat from me on Feb 24, 2008, simply visit my profile as many times as possible. If I win the bet of more profile views, you will get a treat! Here is the profile of my rival — link to bhOndOO’s orkut profile.”.

Status: Gullu’s total profile views = 6000, bhOndOO’s total profile views = 1000.

bhOndOO’s profile views increases because all of Gullu’s friends check bhOndOO’s profile.

Feb 19, 2008:

Gullu is a bit excited with the recent increase in scholarship. Each one of the 500+ persons in the orkut friend list of Gullu gets another message, “Hi again! If you wish to have another treat from me on Feb 25, 2008, please send this message to all your friends and ask them to send it to their friends. If I win, I will give you a double treat! And please do not check my rival’s profile!!!”.

Status: Gullu’s total profile views = 8000, bhOndOO’s total profile views = 1500.

bhOndOO gets Gullu’s message via BenJi: Gullu —> BenJi —> bhOndOO.

Feb 20, 2008:

bhOndOO is deep in thoughts. He knows that he cannot win with this strategy. He only has 20 friends in the list. “How can I do it? I can post it in some forum, but I do not have money to give them treat! Moreover, Gullu will quickly find out and post his profile link also!”. He remembers the ad, Bheja Fry, 7-up try. He goes to the tea-board and drinks a 7-up. At the next instant, he exclaims like Abhishek Bachchan, “What an idea!”. He goes to the lab, starts surfing.

Status: Gullu’s total profile views = 10000, bhOndOO’s total profile views = 1520.

Feb 21, 2008:

bhOndOO is still in the lab. He is writing some TCL code, has four empty bottles of 7-up around and four windows of TCL tutorial opened. He is frustrated, since his program is not compiling!

In the evening, bhOndOO is happy. His program is working. He goes to each of the four working machines in the Computing Lab (having ten machines), does something, and leaves for hostel.

Status: Gullu’s total profile views = 11000, bhOndOO’s total profile views = 1540.

Feb 22, 2008:

bhOndOO enters the lab, checks a file eagerly and gets disappointed. He then starts writing a shell script. By evening, he has the shell script perfectly working.

Status: Gullu’s total profile views = 11800, bhOndOO’s total profile views = 1560.

Feb 23, 2008:

bhOndOO enters the lab and checks a file. He is very happy! He looks around to see no one, logs in using BenJi’s login (he grabs the password using the TCL program which gives a login screen exactly as in X-Windows), opens firefox, prays to Orkut Buyukkokten, and opens http://www.orkut.com/Home.aspx with BenJi’s unix account password. It takes a while and he sees BenJi’s orkut profile. “Fantastic! Long live people who have the same password for all their accounts!”, bhOndOO shouts.

In the evening, Gullu checks his bank balance which is Rs.20,000. “I think that should be enough!”, he tells himself.

In the night, bhOndOO updates his shell script with BenJi’s login and password, and runs it in a loop. The shell script logs into orkut using BenJi’s credentials and visits bhOndOO’s profile.

Status: Gullu’s total profile views = 12500, bhOndOO’s total profile views = 105000.

Feb 24, 2008:

Everyone is in the lab, nervous, worried, disappointed, surprised.

Gullu’s orkut profile says, “Profile views: Since Feb ’06: 28, Last week: 27, Yesterday: 1″.

bhOndOO’s orkut profile says, “Profile views: Since Feb ’06: 28, Last week: 27, Yesterday: 1″.

Shami explains, “This is the recent bug in orkut.”.

the call on valentine’s day.

Feb 18, 2008

bhOndOO got up early on Feb 14, 2008. He had dreamt of many girls presenting roses to him. He prayed to God, opened the door of his room, and looked at the latch; there was no card, rose, or letter. He checked the door, floor and window; but no luck. “Never mind. The day has just begun.”, bhOndOO cheered himself up.

After bathing for 45 min, wearing a red T-shirt and the new sports shoes, bhOndOO started on his bicycle. On the way, he noticed many (and only) girls and kept smiling. He kept paddling slow to give enough scope to the girls to approach him. No one did. “Never mind. They all are unknown to me.”, bhOndOO told himself.

He entered the class and noticed only boys. He seated himself in presumably elegant manner in the row just in front of the class door — to get noticed first by any girl entering the lecture. He kept waiting but no one entered. Later he realized that Compiler Design course was not taken by any girl! “Never mind. I will go to the lab after the lecture.”.

Prof Sree started with the theory of data flow analysis. bhOndOO could not concentrate. He kept thinking of Shami… Shami and bhOndOO… Shami and bhOndOO in a garden… Shami and bhOndOO in a garden singing a song… Shami and bhOndOO in a garden singing a song, Pehla Nasha, Pehla Khumaar… Shami and bhOndOO in a garden singing Pehla Nasha, Pehla Khumaar while others are watching them. bhOndOO suddenly realized that everyone in the class was looking at him. “Why did I come out of my dream, it was so nice, Shami was looking beautiful, the song was also so romantic… Oh! How can I listen to the song if I am not dreaming?”. Getting the grasp of the situation, bhOndOO took out his mobile and pushed the red button. Prof Sree resumed the theory. bhOndOO ignored Prof Sree’s look and clicked a few buttons to make the mobile silent. He could not recognize the number from where he got the call.

After two min, his mobile started vibrating. He took out the mobile and saw the same number. “What if some girl is calling me? Should I take the call? I can’t! What should I do? Shall I go out?”. Prof Sree’s another look made bhOndOO reject the call. But he became impatient. There was still an hour for lecture completion.

bhOndOO kept thinking of all the girls he knew from primary, middle-school, high-school, junior-college, and college. “Could it be Bobby? Could it be Shalini? Could it be …? … Could it be Shami?”. bhOndOO got restless.

As the lecture got over, bhOndOO came out and called back. He felt it taking more than ages to connect. The ring went on for another round of ages. Finally, someone picked up. bhOndOO wanted to hear a feminine voice. He prayed to God, closed his eyes, his heart-beats jumping but breath stopped!

“Hello?”, a girl from the other side.

bhOndOO got delighted. With a big smile on his face, he said, “Hi. I got a call from this number. May I know who is it?”.

“Sir, I am calling from CitiBank. Would you be interested in a personal loan?”.