bhOndOO goes to an ipl match.

Special Thanks and Kudos to Arun for composing this hilarious story — that too in bhOndOO-style.


bhOndOO was excited. He was going to watch the Delhi-Mumbai IPL match that evening in Delhi. His friend, Gullu had managed to get hold of four passes and had invited bhOndOO to go with him.

Since bhOndOO did not have a camera (and he wanted to impress the others somehow) he took his pair of binoculars. However, his plans were shattered by the guard with big moustache who did not allow him to enter the stadium itself (that was when he came to know that binoculars, cameras etc are not allowed inside). Instead of being impressed, he got scolded by the others for not being aware of this fact and had to walk back around 1.5 km to keep the binoculars in the car. After hurrying back, he tried to jump the queue this time saying that he already been in the queue once, but the guard with the big moustache refused to let him in again asking him to get in the long queue. Wearily, bhOndOO obeyed and was finally able to enter, this time the guard did not stop him. After being scolded again by Gullu for wasting so much time, they hurried inside the stadium to get good seats. They chose seats next to a pretty girl because:

  1. The girl was very pretty.
  2. They could come on TV because cameramen usually focus on such girls.

bhOndOO took the seat next to the girl. The girl glanced at him barely once and turned away to chat with her male friend. bhOndOO thought of all possible ways to start a conversation including the standard line “haven’t we met before” but decided not to do so… her friend looked as dangerous and powerful as the guard with the big moustache.

The match started. The sequence of events were as follows.

The batsman would hit a four or six. Everyone would jump up screaming from their seats. bhOndOO however remained seated at all times. He was determined to show his best behaviour to the girl. He did not wish to appear uncivilized by jumping on his seat and so, kept seated and applauded politely whenever there was a four or six. Even though he could not see most of the match because of people standing in front of him, he remained seated with a dignified expression on his face determined not behave like a hooligan.

The innings ended. Everyone was now seated waiting for the second innings to start. The girl next to bhOndOO looked around, saw bhOndOO and hesitated. bhOndOO braced himself. Did she like me? Is she going to talk to me? All these questions ran through his mind when he heard her say, “Um… Would you mind taking a picture of ours?” Behind, her friend grinned wickedly at him (or so bhOndOO thought). At first, he thought, how did she bring in a camera; then realized the girl was offering her mobile phone. bhOndOO had never used the camera in a mobile before. He took the mobile with an expression similar to the one he had on his face when he had seen a lizard in his food. Not wanting to ask how to take a pic, he prayed that it would be the main button of the mobile. He stood up, everyone around was seated, so naturally the attention shifted to him. He kept the mobile at his face level and quickly pressed the button. Quickly, he tried to return the mobile to the girl but she was looking at him with a puzzled expression on her face. She said, “I think you have taken a picture of your nose.”.

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2 Responses to “bhOndOO goes to an ipl match.”

  1. iisc Says:

    This story appeared in the Jun 2008 issue of Voices, the IISc newsletter.
    If you are inside IISc, you can access it here.

  2. Arun Says:

    Thanks

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