compressed mail.

It is 22:00. bhOndOO is very hungry and busy. His experiements are not giving good results. He has been trying various alternatives since three days now, but all he has achieved is getting fed up. After missing dinner, he wishes to eat now, but has no enthusiasm to walk. He does not know what to do. At such a notorious time, bhOndOO receives an email from a junior:

hi!!!!!
m ur junior in be :)…… rmmbr??????
hw r u?????? me fin…… jst doin sm tp thse dayz J
hey! cn u temme wch profs in cs tk up prjctees :)……
need 4 reco hehe…… applin 4 ms nxt sem… J
lemme no…… 🙂
chalo ciao……bye……tc……

At the first sight, he thinks of the mail as a spam and is about to delete it, but then understands that it probably isn’t. He takes two hundred seconds to read and comprehend the mail. At the end of of it, he is not sure whether what he has comprehended is correct. He gets irritated and decides not to reply to the junior.

He makes himself understand that there is no other choice, and starts walking towards T-board. At least after eating, I will feel better. I can then try increasing the number of hash functions and see whether I get better results.

bhOndOO reaches T-board to see it closed. Somebody tells him that it is closed because of sudden strike by the Employee Association of IISc. bhOndOO is frustrated and angry. He curses five of them: Employee Association, T-board, IISc, his advisor and his decision to join for PhD. His current condition can be described in two beautiful and frequently occuring words in the research life: give up.

bhOndOO comes back, unlocks his terminal and sees the mail from the junior. He gets more angry. The junior becomes the bakra (victim) of bhOndOO’s frustration. bhOndOO writes following email to him:

.txet desserpmoc ruoy otni srettel gniniamer eht dda ot stroffe erom emos ekat ,etorw I tahw rehpiced ot sniap hguone nekat evah uoy taht woN .esuoh ruoy ot gnimoc dna maet yekcoh eht ni sdneirf ym rof tuo gnillac dnim ton lliw I ,liam a hcus em ot etirw uoy emit txeN
.setteuqite liame ni esruoc a nioj ot deen a dna ,dlihc a fo taht naht esrow roivaheb a wohs sespille dna skram noitamalcxe fo rebmun eht dna ,’J’ dna ‘eheh’ htiw elggiw yhtlif A .motpmys citanul a si ecalp etairporppani na ta yelims a gniddA .nettirw txet eht fo gninaem eht egnahc ton od yehT .snodda era syelims ,dnoceS
.liam ruoy htiw gnola retpyrced a hcatta osla esaelp ,emit txen ,eergasid uoy fI .denifed llew dna dootsrednu llew era rettal eht ;noisserpmoc atad dna dnah trohs ,snoitaiverbba htiw etirw uoy tahw esufnoc ton od uoy epoh I .noititep a elif esaelp ,hsilgnE ni yrassecennu era slewov taht leef uoy fI .slewov tuohtiw txet daer ot uoy ekil srewop enivid evah dlrow eht ni ydobyreve toN .sliame etirw ot nrael ,tsomerof dna tsriF

/* a more readable version appears in the comment. */

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13 Responses to “compressed mail.”

  1. iisc Says:

    Read slightly more readable version of the mail here:

    First and foremost, learn to write emails. Not everybody in the world have divine powers like you to read text without vowels. If you feel that vowels are unnecessary in English, please file a petition. I hope you do not confuse what you write with abbreviations, short hand and data compression; the latter are well understood and well defined. If you disagree, next time, please also attach a decrypter along with your mail.

    Second, smileys are addons. They do not change the meaning of the text written. Adding a smiley at an inappropriate place is a lunatic symptom. A filthy wiggle with ‘hehe’ and ‘J’, and the number of exclamation marks and ellipses show a behavior worse than that of a child, and a need to join a course in email etiquettes.

    Next time you write to me such a mail, I will not mind calling out for my friends in the hockey team and coming to your house. Now that you have taken enough pains to decipher what I wrote, take some more efforts to add the remaining letters into your compressed text.

  2. Sanchit Says:

    WOW, you seem to be real pissed off with the PhD thing. I noticed that the text was reversed completely. It’d have been a better lesson for her/him if you anagrammed every word.

    P.S. I took utmost care, to myself, to not include slangs and similar scriptures.

  3. Radhesh Says:

    He he.. Poor juni. BTW your juniors mail was not so difficult to decipher, but ya, ur reply was 😉

  4. urv Says:

    Yo bhondoo! Kewl pst! Rck on man. rep 2 jun 2 kewl. Chao. tc

    I just don’t get their lingo yaar.. same as you 🙂

  5. Vamsi Says:

    blfi yolth yirmt z hnrov lm nb uzxv 🙂

  6. Meghana. Says:

    Vamsi, now what is the readable version of the comment :)?

    bhOOndO, did you generate the ‘unreadable version’ through a program :)?

  7. iisc Says:

    Thanks Sanchit. I agree, anagramming every word would have been a real nightmare for the junior. May be, next time :).

    Thanks Radhesh. Actually, that is what was intended.

    Thks, Urv, sm hr :).

    Gszmph z olg, Eznhr (for others, the mapping is a<->z, b<->y, and so on).

    Meghana, you get the bhOndOO-giri right.

  8. Satish Says:

    Did bhOndOO write a program for generating the ‘unreadable version’?

    I thought the following should be enough in Vim.
    :%s/\(.\)/\1\r/g
    :g/^/m0
    :%s/\(.\)\n/\1/g

  9. iisc Says:

    Long since bhOndOO programmed anything in vi. Thanks Satish for reminding.
    But nevertheless, the option bhOndOO used wasn’t too bad. He tried the following in perl:
    print scalar reverse “Text”;

  10. Satish Says:

    🙂

    bhOndOO ALWAYS exceeds my expectations.

  11. thii Says:

    while searching for life at iisc, i unintentionally came to this blog, and loved the way each story is written , cool and crisp ..

    i had gone through each one and eagerly waiting for updates
    really nice work…..

    -a big fan of bhOndOO…….

  12. iisc Says:

    Thanks thii and Welcome. Will try to meet your expectations.

  13. Vikrant Says:

    bhOndOO Rocks….

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