puncturing gullu’s bicycle.

“How do you take a printout, Sir?”, bhOndOO heard a soft voice coming from the back. As he turned, he saw five young girls surrounding him. He was overjoyed — rather surprised. He quickly inferred that although the thought was very pleasing, he was day-dreaming and the freshers were asking the question to someone else in the lab. But noting that he was the only representative of the Adam’s species in the lab, he recollected his orkut fortune, You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.

bhOndOO came to senses. He managed, “Just type clpr filename.”.
“Okay, Sir.”, and the congregation of the ladies moved to a nearby computer.

Gullu entered the Computing Lab and grabbed a seat in a corner.

bhOndOO continued dreaming like Shah Rukh Khan: Shaan se rahoon sadaa, mujhpe log ho fida, haseenayen bhi dil ho khotee. His beautiful dream was disturbed by whispering of the ladies team.

“No! not lpr, it is clpr.”.
“Not filename baba, but the name of the file. Yes, isca.pdf.”.
“The file is not there. Isn’t it saying it is not found!”.
“But it is there na. See ls is also showing it.”.
“Oh! Then, …”.
“Hmmm…”.
“clpr is not there.”.

After 60 seconds of murmuring discussion, 20 seconds of hesitation, and 10 seconds of wait, the ladies club came back to their angel, “Sir, it is not working.”.

bhOndOO made a face as if it was an NP-hard problem. He then came up with the reason (linear in time).
“Oh! clpr may not be in the path. Try the complete path /home/scratch/Printer/clpr.”.

The mob returned, typed something, whispered, hesitated, and said (this time, not coming back to bhOndOO), “Sir, it is not working.”.

bhOndOO’s status was at stake, which made him a bit (to say less) excited. But the uniform error interface of Sir, it is not working made bhOndOO angry. He wanted to know what was not working, but the girls paid no heed to his pink-turned face. Finally, controlling his anger, bhOndOO came to their computer.

“Oh! You need to convert the file to postscript to take a printout. PDF is not supported.”.
“Oh!”, came a uniform sigh, and all the girls hesitated again. After a gap of 3 seconds, one of them asked, “Sir, how to convert it to postscript?”.

bhOndOO heard a giggle in the corner and he was annoyed by now.

“Okay.”. bhOndOO opened the PDF file in acroread and printed it to a file output.ps. He himself then typed the command /home/scratch/Printer/clpr -f output.ps and pressed enter. clpr returned to the prompt with undecipherable error. bhOndOO tried again. Same undecipherable error. Adamant bhOndOO tried yet again and clpr proved itself equally adamant.

The prestige issue made bhOndOO look at the printer with red eyes and heart full of curses. He walked to the printer and (showed that he) checked it. The tray contained enough pages, the plug was connected and the wall-switch was on. bhOndOO observed the printer from all three dimensions, but did not find anything wrong with it. He then returned to the computer and tried the same command. clpr returned the same error.

After 300 seconds of getting bored to see bhOndOO trying the same 3-4 commands in random order, the ladies club reentered the mode of whispering. bhOndOO gathered that he had been demoted from the post of angel to a useless senior. He kept looking at the printer and felt like crying.

The girl mob, leaving their angel, moved to another angel in the corner. Gullu got up, came to their computer on which bhOndOO was playing the trial-and-error game, looked at the error message thrown by clpr, thought for a while, walked to the printer, looked at it, and pushed a button. The printer woke up roaring like a lion. “Try now.”, Gullu told the girls.

The girls hesitated. bhOndOO got up from the computer. One of the girls tried the same command and clpr said, The job completed successfully. The roaring lion threw out a set of pages.

“What was the problem?”, one of the girls asked their new angel.
“The printer button was off.”.
“Oh! Thank you very much, Sir.”, the girl said with a lot of gratitude in her eyes.
“You are welcome. But next time, just remember that you should consult the right senior.”.

Gullu and the girls’s gang giggled: Gullu freely, and the gang, as before, hesitantly. bhOndOO felt bad, as bad as he had felt on listening to the remarks when he had (by mistake?) boarded a ladies bus in Bangalore. At the next moment, he was out of the lab.

“Hi, bhOndOO.”, came an enthusiastic greeting.
“Hello BenJi.”, bhOndOO’s cold, tight-lipped reply.
“What happened?”.
“This Gullu considers himself a Hero! At my cost, he is trying to impress the girls! He must be taught a lesson. I will teach him the lesson.”.

bhOndOO narrated the story to BenJi and brought him outside the department.
“Where is his red bicycle!”, bhOndOO exclaimed.
“Whose bicycle?”.
“That bastard’s bicycle! I will puncture it today. Ah! There it is.”.
“Wait! He must be coming out now. He goes to tea board everyday around this time on the bicycle.”.
bhOndOO stopped himself, remembering the built of Gullu’s physique. “Then what should I do?”, bhOndOO asked himself.
“See bhOndOO…”.
“Okay, I am going to tea board. I will wait for him to park his bicycle and once he goes inside, I will puncture it. What does he consider himself to be! He must be taught a lesson! I will teach him the lesson.”, and he started walking without listening to BenJi.

BenJi knew that there was no point in trying to stop bhOndOO, for he was very excited and angry. BenJi nodded his head, as if saying, Kaise kaise log hai is duniya mein? and turned to reenter the department.

Prof Krishnamurthy, bhOndOO’s advisor, came out of the department.
“Good afternoon, Sir.”, BenJi greeted.
“Good afternoon.”, Prof Krishnamurthy greeted back and walked past.

BenJi was about to go in, when he realized something. He looked back to see Prof Krishnamurthy taking the red bicycle out of the parking area. BenJi raised his eyebrows and wondered, “I hope Prof Krishnamurthy does not go to tea board.”.

At tea board, bhOndOO waited eagerly. He did not stand in the parking lot not to be seen by Gullu. After some time, his advisor, Prof Krishnamurthy entered tea board and he wished him. A few moments later, Gullu entered the tea board. bhOndOO hid himself behind a table and managed to escape out of the tea board without getting seen by Gullu. Gullu got into the queue.

bhOndOO came out and saw the red bicycle. He went near and looked around to see nobody. He then sat near the bicycle and thought of puncturing the back tyre. But he had no pointing instrument. He tried scorching with his nails, but that was not very helpful.

For the lack of any metallic object, he picked up a big stone and started hitting the tyre with it. His cautiousness made him look around to see BenJi come running along the road. Why is he running? Whom is he waving at? What does he want to say?

Suddenly, BenJi stopped and turned back. bhOndOO did not realize the sudden change and he added two more strong hits to the tyre. A pat on the shoulder made bhOndOO turn back. Looking at his advisor, he almost fell back. Prof Krishnamurthy asked, “What is going on, bhOndOO?”.


I better end the story here.

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16 Responses to “puncturing gullu’s bicycle.”

  1. Arnab Says:

    After a long time, a classic BhOndOO story 🙂 The description of the girls’ gang was awesome.

  2. Arun Says:

    i m desperate to know how much of this is true.. 😀 especially thinking that you sit alone in CL2 most of the time… the first part of the story could be very likely true…. 😀

  3. iisc Says:

    Arnab, thanks a lot! Would try to at least maintain that.

    Arun, I would like to leave it to you to decipher the true part of the story. By the way, I was never fortunate enough to get surrounded by five girls.

  4. Vamsi Says:

    i am just wondering what would have happened if it were a ‘gang of boys’ instead of a ‘gang of girls’ 😛

  5. iisc Says:

    Vamsi, in case of gang of boys, Prof Krishnamurthy’s bicycle would have been spared. This is how it would have happened.

    a. One of the gang-sters asks bhOndOO how to take a printout.
    b. bhOndOO tells them “clpr filename”.
    c. Every one of the boys grabs a computer and tries the command in their logins. They check with each other that the command does not work for anyone. One of them asks bhOndOO, with everyone looking at bhOndOO, “What is the path of clpr?”.
    d. bhOndOO says, “/home/scratch/Printer/clpr”.
    e. After some time, one of the gangsters goes to the printer, pushes a button, comes back to his seat, fires a command, and the printout comes out!

  6. Kiran Kumar Tikare Says:

    Hi,

    I am regular reader of your blog. This is my first comment, i could not resist my urge to write some thing after reading the above post.

    Really Impressive.

    Well about me, i am a software engineer & currently i am doing a Course at Proficience,IISc on Logical Reasoning & Intelligent Systems.

    Regards,
    Kiran Kumar
    “Jai Hind”
    “Stay Hungry,Stay Foolish”

  7. iisc Says:

    Welcome Kiran and many thanks for the good words. If you wish to have coffee with bhOndOO in tea-board of IISc, you are most welcome.

  8. Reema Says:

    This was so hilarious..

    Liked it a lot..
    and the way u ended the story.. nice .. leaving so much more to the imagination..

  9. iisc Says:

    Thanks a lot, Reema.

  10. Kiran Tikare Says:

    Hi,

    Thanks for the Invitation!!!!!!!! I have classes on every Saturday’s, 20 Sep 2008 i may not be available as i am going to my native, on 27 Sep 2008, we can go for coffee.

    BTW, how can i identify you? hope i have seen your orkut profile, i am on orkut (kirankumar tikare), leave me your trace on my profile.

    Regards,
    Kiran
    “Jai Hind”
    “Stay Hungry,Stay Foolish”

  11. voices meeting in nesara. « iisc life. Says:

    […] cursed gdb, then pointer analysis, then PhD, and rushed to grab his bicycle. The bicycle was punctured. Yet another “Shit!”. This must be Gullu. I will take revenge later. bhOndOO’s […]

  12. taking revenge using google chat. « iisc life. Says:

    […] At the next moment, bhOndOO’s eyes turned red, the face pink, and pulse-rate 100: Gullu came online on gmail. I must show to him that I am not a coward! He should be taught a lesson. I will teach him a lesson. […]

  13. saraswathi Says:

    the comment of ‘iisc’ is very sexist…doesn’t he see women in the academia and software professions?

  14. iisc Says:

    Saraswathi, I apologize for the gender-biased comment. Although the intension was solely fun, I understand it must have raised some eyebrows.

  15. bhOndOO arranges veena recital. « iisc life. Says:

    […] No, not from his advisor, but from Dr Ajay, a faculty member. Come on, what you are saying! bhOndOO did not puncture his bicycle, nor did he leak the Program Analysis paper found one hour before the exam near the dust-bin. He […]

  16. jay Says:

    I have an exam tomorrow, integrated phd admission interviews next week, i cant budge without reading your entire blog, AWESOME WRITING BHONDU

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