bhOndOO writes midsem.

Thanks to Dilip for this story.


“Oh! This is also in the syllabus?”, bhOndOO enquired.
“Of course.”, BenJi replied.

A typical conversation five minutes before any exam. As Prof Thomas entered the room, the talks got transformed into whispers.

“And when was this one taught?”.
“When you were enjoying the trek.”.

bhOndOO did not dare ask any more questions. Prof Thomas asked the first rowers to pass on the answer sheets. As with every exam, this time too bhOndOO had plans to write answers to all questions. Therefore, he grabbed a larger bunch of papers. The pages got over before those reached the last row.

“Please leave sheets for your colleagues.”, Prof Thomas shouted looking at the class in general and bhOndOO in particular.

bhOndOO, hesitantly, as if he had to pay for a party, took out half the sheets to be passed to the back students. He made sure that Prof Thomas was looking elsewhere and passed only half of the half.

“Please write your name on top of the first page.”.

bhOndOO looked at the answer sheets, closed eyes, murmured something, and wrote at the top-center of the answer sheet: || Shree ||.

He then wrote his name on the right top corner.

It was the turn of question papers now. Fortunately, nobody grabbed more than one. As the question papers reached the last row, Prof Thomas declared, “It is 11:35. Please submit before 13:05.”.

bhOndOO saw the question paper, Okay, five questions. No choice. I have roughly 18 minutes for each of them… Then, he read the first question and a smile appeared on his face. Man! I was hoping so much that this question should have been asked! My time is going great. I am going to crack this exam. But why did Sir allot the least marks for this question?

Keeping aside his mental research on marks and without reading the further questions, bhOndOO started writing the answer — which was ready in his mind. As he ended the answer, he checked the watch: 11:45. Wow! I am doing nicely in time.

bhOndOO read the second question: Okay, I will get back to you later, sweetie.

The third question looked easy. But, why does it carry so many marks? Not finding the reason, bhOndOO started writing the answer. As he completed one page of the answer, he realized that the answer was not fully correct and he exclaimed: Oh! That’s why the question carries so much weightage. He thought for a while and realized that the written answer required a few tweakings to be fully correct. He cut a few words, overwrote some, added few new in smaller font-size, drew a few arrows from words to the margins, and filled up the margins. Still, the answer was not complete and he required arrows to go to the next page. He cursed, “Shit!”, then cut the text on the page with a strong straight line running from top-left corner to the bottom-right, and started afresh on the back side of the same paper. Finally, he managed with much fewer arrows.

bhOndOO checked the time: 12:20. Oh! Only 45 min remaining and I have to solve 3 more questions. bhOndOO’s mind started hurrying and he moved to the fourth question. The question sounded Latin. bhOndOO got tensed: Will I pass?

He rushed through the last question and found it partly doable. He thought for a while and then started writing. He used two papers, cut two paragraphs, and used five arrows to finally complete the answer to the first part of the question.

“Fifteen more minutes.”, Prof Thomas declared.

bhOndOO looked at the watch (as if it would have said something else). “Oh!”, sighed a few students. Our hero was making a business plan.

Okay. I cannot solve the complete paper. I have to choose. I have done questions one and three completely. Answering question four is out of question. Second part of question five may be too much time-consuming. That leaves question two (the sweetie) which I can afford to think about.

bhOndOO was happy with his business plan. While reading question two, he told himself, bhOndOO, yaar, you are improving! You have avoided all the anxiety by this careful decision. And moreover, you will get some marks out of it! You will become a great businessman in future. bhOndOO smiled. The smile made him think better. Within a minute, he had the answer floating in his mind.

Within five minutes, bhOndOO had finished the answer. “Yess!”, he exclaimed. Prof Thomas looked suspiciously at him. bhOndOO looked down.

bhOndOO re-read questions four and five, but did not see any hope. He quickly rechecked whether he had written his name and a thought appeared in his, now free, mind, Nobody has submitted the paper yet. Since waiting here for another few minutes will not give me any value-add in terms of marks, how about being the first one to submit? And moreover, Shami is also in the class. The thought pleased bhOndOO. He got up and came to Prof Thomas.

“Yes, what is the difficulty?”.
bhOndOO did not expect this question: “No, Sir. No difficulty.”.
“Then?”.
“I want to submit the paper.”.
“Oh! Okay.”, and Prof Thomas took the answer sheets, stapled those, and left those on the table.

bhOndOO looked around: all the students, including Shami, were looking awfully at bhOndOO, as if saying, “Either he has cracked the paper or he has been cracked by the paper.”.

bhOndOO left the room in the joy of passing. He realized that he was hungry and rushed towards the mess.

Meanwhile, in the class, Prof Thomas shouted, “Five more minutes.”.
“No Sir. We need extra time.”.
“How much extra time do you want?”.

Some students whispered “30 minutes.”, some said, “One hour.”, while some tried “Two hours.”. Prof Thomas heard all the options.

“Alright. Leave the answer sheets in my room when you are done. But lets no go beyond 16:00. You all are not kids, I believe that you will not copy.”.

Junta was overjoyed. Prof Thomas left the room. Students continued the paper. Some students left the paper and came back from T-board grabbing something to eat.

bhOndOO finished lunch and since he had not had enough sleep, went to the room for relaxing. He started dreaming about topping the exam, Shami coming to him and congratulating him, he taking Shami out for a candle-light dinner, and then for a romantic walk in the moon-light. He was just showing Shami a star falling from the sky, when suddenly a cat came from nowhere, jumped, and bit bhOndOO’s left ear. bhOndOO forgot the star and Shami, and got up to realize that he had got a mosquito bite. bhOndOO got very angry at the mosquito for disturbing his wonderful dream, and made four attempts to kill it: all in vain. The anger and the attempts brought bhOndOO out of sleep. He checked his watch to see that it was the snacks time.

bhOndOO freshened up and went to the mess. He found his friends sitting at a table and discussing the paper. bhOndOO joined them and found that they were not discussing about Verification paper, but rather about some other topic. To pitch in, bhOndOO asked, “Which subject are you talking about?”.

His friends did the most obvious thing: looked at bhOndOO. They, then, did the next obvious thing: ignored him and continued discussing.

bhOndOO did not feel bad. He was in his own world and continued drinking milk.

When bhOndOO had gulped half of the milk, he realized that his friends were talking about 7th question of some paper. Oh! They had another exam in the afternoon. Poor fellows.

When bhOndOO was about to finish the milk, almost a blow came to him in the form of BenJi’s question, “bhOndOO, how did you solve the 7th question?”.

“What do you mean?”, bhOndOO’s smile disappeared.

BenJi got annoyed and he put forth the question paper and pointed his finger towards question number 7. bhOndOO, conscious-anxious-obnoxious and what not, looked carefully at the paper and whispered, “There were two questions at the back!”.

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5 Responses to “bhOndOO writes midsem.”

  1. Urv Says:

    Hahaha. :)) Have you seen the Mr. Bean episode where he goes for an exam and only sees one paper out of the 2?

  2. Urv Says:

    //“Oh! This is also in the syllabus?”

    I generally used to ask “Oh! This WAS also in the syllabus?” after the paper. 😀

  3. iisc Says:

    That was funnier, Urv. And I haven’t seen Mr Bean’s episode you mentioned. Will look forward to coming across it.

  4. Monica Says:

    lol …nice.
    yea did remind me of Mr.Bean’s episode… but bean got screwed more… cus on one side of the paper was trigonometry and on the other side was calculus . He studied only trigonometry ,but Poor guy sees only the calculus until almost the exam ended.

  5. apkmnp Says:

    Lol… can’t put that in a better format 😀
    Happens the same with all of us sometime or other

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