bhOndOO on valentine’s day.

On the auspicious day of Saint Valentine’s birthday, bhOndOO, Gullu, BenJi and Chunni Babu went to Brigade Road for bird-watching. The latter three made the former buy a red rose. They then made him approach different girls to offer the rose. Following events took place.

  • First girl ran away.
  • Second girl smiled and slapped bhOndOO.
  • Third girl’s boy-friend slapped bhOndOO, without smiling.
  • Fourth girl happily took the rose and offered it to her boy-friend.
  • Fifth girl asked her 2-year old kid to come and collect the flower from Mamaji.

After spending an unsuccessful one hour, they decided to shift focus towards MG Road. bhOndOO was feeling tired and low. But his companions tried to cheer him up.

BenJi: “Don’t worry man! You will get your valentine.”.

Chunni Babu: “Hey bhOndOO, all those girls were not of your type. Your type is yet to come.”.

Gullu was thoughtful for some time, looking deep down the road and then, he nodded and declared, “Perhaps your type is nearby.”.

As they walked 30 more feet, they witnessed a lone girl standing beneath a Silver Oak tree. The girl was darker in color, of the same height as bhOndOO and had a make-up on the over-do side.

Gullu, BenJi and Chunni Babu looked at the girl, then at each other with sparkling eyes and they suddenly jumped at bhOndOO: “bhOndOO, approach her.”.

“But she… does not look…”.

“Don’t worry man. She is your valentine.”.

bhOndOO looked at her with the new insight received from his friends. The girl, at the very next moment, started looking at bhOndOO, and voila, she smiled.

bhOndOO involuntarily smiled in return. Although he received a physical push from BenJi, he did not notice it. He had gone into the thoughts of heavens, where he, like a prince, was riding a white horse and marching towards the silver moon where his beautiful valentine, dressed in white, was waiting, her hands strethed out towards him. The white horse reached the moon, Prince bhOndOO jumped elegantly (without falling and managing 1/6th gravity) on the moon and they looked at each other, their eyes filled with love. After a few moments passed in silence, Prince bhOndOO took out his gift, the red rose, kneeled down and offered the rose, as if his heart, to the beautiful princess, his eyes not withdrawing from those of her, and with a soft earnest voice, asked the rhetoric, “Will you be my Valentine?”.

The princess stood there, on the silver moon, shying, holding the storm of emotions into her glistening eyes, but not withdrawing from his, her throat choked. A few moments passed without a word or movement. They kept staring at each other, with only the red rose separating them.

She was about to bridge the gap by accepting the rose when, suddenly, the white horse started neighing heavily. Prince bhOndOO turned and looked back and saw a group of horses rushing towards them. When he came to senses, he realized that a group of around 20 youngsters was running towards them, some shouting with anger, some laughing.

bhOndOO did not know what was happening, and more importantly, what to do. The youngsters approached them and held bhOndOO with his collar. From their yellow-orange dresses, and their friendly behavior, bhOndOO realized that they were Ram Sena activists. They started shouting at bhOndOO: “Ae hero,  I will show you how to celebrate Valentine’s Day.”, “Want to do ramance in public?”, “People like you crush the Hindu culture!”, “Saala, cultureless fellow.”.

The princess was also held by a few activists, more in number than those holding bhOndOO. The princess’s over made-up face turned reddish black and she started shouting on the activists. bhOndOO was surprised (and heart broken) to see her abusing them with a vocabulary even he was unheard of.

It was still okay so far, but further shouting by Ram Sena activists holding him took bhOndOO aback: “And you didn’t find anybody to flirt with?”, “Look, he was offering a rose to her, this Chameli, the call-girl!”.

bhOndOO dreaded: What? She is a call-girl! And I was trying her!

Before bhOndOO could come out of the awe, one of the activists burned some papers and others holding bhOndOO brought him near the fire. bhOndOO dreaded further: Will these people burn me? Alive? bhOndOO, within 2 seconds, remembered his parents, his sister, Shami, his advisor Prof Krishnamurthy and finally the God. Tears started rolling down his cheeks to see his small life coming to a tragic end.

But none of the activists got emotionally swayed by his tears. The larger gang of activists brought the girl also near the fire. What? They will burn me and the call girl into the same fire? Chameli tried to resist, freed one of her arms, and slapped one activist. But others overpowered and held her hands firmly.

Suddenly, one of the fairer activists marched in and started singing Bryan Adams. bhOndOO could not understand what (the hell) was going on. When he listened carefully, he realized that the fairer activist was reciting a Sanskrit Shlok: “Kaamah Kaamayadat, Kaamo Daata, Kaamah Pratigruhita…”. The other activists pushed Prince bhOndOO, following Princess Chameli and made them go round the burning papers. Only during the second round did bhOndOO realize that the activists were actually trying to get bhOndOO married to Chameli!

At once, he realized that he was in a real soup. He looked around for help, and found his friends hiding and watching the drama. Chameli was trying to rescue herself, but was otherwise cool with the marriage idea. The activists had now started laughing heavily looking at bhOndOO. bhOndOO’s cry had increased, but he could not do anything in front of the 20 strong activists.

The third round got over. Chameli had, by now, surrendered. bhOndOO, helpless, wanted his tears to extinguish the fire, but the tears too surrendered. The priest activist continued, “Kaamam Samudramavisha, Kaamen Twam Pratigruhyami.”. bhOndOO cried for help looking at the heavens.

The God listened and sent a police-van on the MG Road. The priest activist ran, and the Baarati activists ran, and Chameli ran, leaving the groom alone at the wedding site. The groom was released with a warning by the police after they saw his IISc identity card.

bhOndOO’s colleagues came out of the hideout, and started pacifying him. bhOndOO kept looking at the burning red rose.

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6 Responses to “bhOndOO on valentine’s day.”

  1. Vikas Gupta Says:

    Bravo! 😀 😆

  2. Kiran Tikare Says:

    “…….,Will these people burn me? Alive? bhOndOO, within 2 seconds, remembered his parents, his sister, Shami, his advisor Prof Krishnamurthy and finally the God…… ”

    🙂

  3. Pages tagged "bird watching" Says:

    […] bookmarks tagged bird watching bhOndOO on valentine’s day. saved by 2 others     supernosie bookmarked on 02/16/09 | […]

  4. amreekandesi Says:

    This is so horrible! I read about this plan but not sure if they actually married anybody forcibly!

  5. the drunkard autodriver. « iisc life. Says:

    […] His eyes got hold of another auto coming from the other side and he saw a ray of hope. When the auto neared, bhOndOO gathered his voice to shout, but when his eyes fell on the back seat, he, at once, shifted his gaze in the opposite direction. The passengers in the other auto were girls similar to bhOndOO’s valentine. […]

  6. kannan Says:

    Why, are there no girls in IISC? Should I burn my admission card?

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