bhOndOO in girls’ hostel!

bhOndOO sat with his eyes and mouth wide open. He was breathing heavily and sweat got accumulated on his forehead. He sat for 10 seconds.

After his pulse approached a normal rate, he recalled what had happened: he had a bad dream. He saw Shami getting married to Gullu.

bhOndOO was breathing normally, but was restless. He checked his mobile: 03:00. But he was fully awake without the slightest hint of sleep. He tried to relax himself by lying down. It was just a dream! Don’t worry. They are not married, he told himself. He could not sleep. But there must be some meaning to the dream. Shami must be in trouble.

At 03:10, he got up, slipped the mobile in his pockets, grabbed spects, wore slippers, opened the door, locked it from outside and started walking out of the New Block in the darkness. He himself did not know where he wanted to go.

He found himself seated on stairs beside the A mess. He calculated the madness portrayed in calling at the odd time, made up his mind, took out his mobile and called her. Ring 1, ring 2, ring 3, ring 4, ring 5…

After ring 15, the call was ended. She didn’t pick up the phone, she must be in trouble.

bhOndOO’s restlessness furthered up. He found himself walking towards Kritika, the girls’ hostel. A dog was lying on the road in a manner as if someone had written \begin{center} and \end{center} around it. It gave an I-don’t-care-who-you-are look to bhOndOO and continued looking at the road. The watchman sat on a chair on one side of the hostel away from the entrance, looking down and folding the hands to his chest. bhOndOO initially thought that he was thinking deep about Philosophy. But when he came closer, realized that he was snoring.

Shall I directly go in? No, it is unethical.

“Excuse me?”.

The snoring continued.

Raising his voice, “Excuse me, Sir?”.

The watchman smiled without opening eyes. He was probably dreaming about being a millionaire.

“Hello?”.

When nothing helped, bhOndOO gently patted on the watchman’s right shoulder. The watchman woke up without any sense of place and direction. He waved his hands and legs in air, bhOndOO stepped back, and the watchman fell on ground.

“Sorry, sorry.”, bhOndOO tried to give him a hand to help him get up. But looking at the reason for his fall and for his fall from millionaire to a watchman, the watchman refused accepting the helping hand. He stood on his own, cleant his trouser’s back, and shouted in Kannada like a government employee, “Enu?”. What?

“I want to go in.”.

“What?”.

“I want to go inside the hostel.”.

The watchman’s angry look suddenly changed to that of contempt as if he was looking at a man who had lost his mind at young age.

“This is girls’ hostel.”, he tried to explain bhOndOO.

bhOndOO gave him a smilar look of contempt thinking If this was not a girls’ hostel, why would have I asked you, idiot! But he kept his calm and answered, “I know. I want to meet someone. It is important. Can I go in?”.

bhOndOO’s insistance annoyed the watchman. He held his head high (halliteration?) and declared, “No!”.

“Please, Sir.”.

“No!”.

“Okay, can you go in and ask her to come out?”.

“No!”.

bhOndOO thought of the weapon of using the local language, “Please, Sir. Naanu olgade hog beku.”. I want to go in.

Illa!”. No!

bhOndOO cursed his sense of honesty for waking him up. He walked back towards his hostel. The watchman looked at him triumphantly.

There are so many obstacles. I must meet her now. But how?

bhOndOO’s researcher mind led him, instead of inside New Block, from beside B-mess behind hostel Bharani. He walked along the wall and reached the wall of hostel Kritika. He pressed his body into the darkness against the wall, tried to control his pulse rate, failed and slowly creeped towards the entrance.

He was 2 meter away from the entrance clung to the wall. Beside the entrance, on the other side, was the watchman sitting on the chair without snoring. He was looking at the road ahead and could easily figure out someone entering if bhOndOO tried to go inside.

bhOndOO waited eternally long for 300 seconds to allow the watchman look on the other side. Does he have a stiff neck? Why doesn’t he look that side!

When nothing provoked the watchman look on the other side, bhOndOO’s researcher mind came to the rescue. I will throw a stone on the other side from above the wall. Its sound will make him look there and I will be able to enter without a problem.

In this scenario, bhOndOO was like Abhimanyu from Mahabharat: he knew how to enter the Chakravyuh, but did not know how to come out. Without thinking further, bhOndOO carefully bowed down, picked up a middle-sized stone and threw it in air from above the hostel wall, above the watchman.

A loud anti-climatic “KNYA, Knya, knya, …” was heard. The throw was perfect. It hit the dog. The dog ran away disturbing the central alignment on the road. It was not intended, but the intended effect was observed. The watchman suddenly turned his neck and looked towards the running dog. bhOndOO got happy to have hit the right chord. The distance between him and meeting Shami was only 2 meters. He made up his mind to run in and …

bhOndOO’s legs could not move. A question that struck right on the face baffled him. He stood there pressed against the wall. The question made him forget the world, the watchman, the dog, the stone, the wall, the entrance. What is Shami’s room number?

The watchman got up and stood next to his chair looking away towards the dog and the road. His back was facing bhOndOO. It was the perfect time to enter, but bhOndOO’s mind works only at unexpected times and he stood there in the darkness worrying, Even if I get in, I cannot go and knock at each door asking for Shami. But if I do not get in, I will never be able to know whether she is fine. And this is my chance. I have to first get in and then think about the next challenge. And like the prince in the computer game, he decided to enter the next level. He put forth his left leg towards the entrance away from his hiding wall.

There was no sound, bhOndOO was careful. He then put forth his right leg. He was standing in front of the entrance now and just behind the watchman. Two more steps and he would be inside.

Koi kahe kahta rahe e e e, kitna bhi hamko diwana, someone close to bhOndOO started singing. bhOndOO was baffled less, angry more. Come on, whosoever you are, this is not the time and place to sing. The watchman will look back!

And he did. And he did in a harsh way. He saw the same student standing right in front of the entrance trying to sneak in. bhOndOO was busy recalling the singer, since it sounded very familiar. Jesus! It’s the ring-tone of my mobile! Before bhOndOO could silence his ringing mobile, the watchman caught hold of his collar and started abusing him in Kannada. The only relief for bhOndOO was that he could not understand a single word.

After bhOndOO said sorry twenty three times, bowed down four times, and cried once, the watchman allowed him to go without taking him to the main security personnel.

Folding his collar properly, devastated, bhOndOO returned to his room. He took out his mobile and saw “1 missed call(s)”. It was Shami.

He calmed himself and dialled back.

“Hello bhOndOO, you had called?”.

“Me?… Oh! Ya, I had. How are you?”.

The question almost struck Shami. It was asked at 03:40. A smile got reflected when she answered, “I am fine.”.

Nobody spoke for three seconds. Then Shami took charge.

“I missed your call because we were watching a movie in the lab and the mobile was on silent mode.”.

“No problem.”, bhOndOO lied. Suddenly, he realized something, raised his eyebrows and asked, “Did you say you were watching movie in the lab?”.

“Yes, why?”.

“You mean you are in the department?”.


Thanks to Vasanta for Kannada translations.

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11 Responses to “bhOndOO in girls’ hostel!”

  1. silva Says:

    nice post..
    how do u pronounce shami? does it rhyme with ‘the’ mummy or is it shaami?
    from where did u get the names of the characters? gullu, Benji etc?

  2. iisc Says:

    I and bhOndOO pronounce Shami to rhyme with Mummy.

    The name of bhOndOO was derived from a Hindi comedy program Made in India hosted by Shekhar Suman. The character there was Bhadu for Bhadesh. I did not want the same name, and chose similar name bhOndOO when it came to mind because of its meaning — non-intellectual.

    Gullu was derived from another Hindi comedy program named All The Best hosting earlier Shafi Inamdar and then (after his death) Satish Shah. Marathi actor Laxmikant Berde played the role of Gullu.

    BenJi is more real world. I had a colleague named Benjamin in Network Appliance. He was known as BenJi.

    Names like Lili, Chinku, etc are actually derived from the above names and do not have any resemblance to the living or the dead whatsoever ;).

    Chunni Babu is the name of course from Devdas, but one of my colleagues in IITB was called so because he spread the disease of Age of Empires network game amongst many students.

  3. silva Says:

    oh, yaa
    i remember lakshya in the role of gullu..

  4. Kiran Tikare Says:

    Ah! Age of Empires, my favourite game series.

    And thanks for letting us know the story behind the characters.

  5. Padmalekha Says:

    Very well written post!

  6. Japan Dave Says:

    Really cool…………. U write in really nice way….. creating interest and all things…….. I went through this post without taking break, even though I cant read even a para in one sit …. 😉 🙂

  7. Jk Says:

    Still unable to see the origin of Shami [:-)]

  8. vinay Says:

    hahaha..[:)] bhOndOO the valiant! lovely post!

  9. Krupa Says:

    he he he .. laughed to d core..!!.. Poor bhOndOO..

  10. Microphone : Says:

    i like computer games that are first person shooting and strategy games .

  11. Can Crusher Says:

    .;* I am very thankful to this topic because it really gives great information ,*,

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