shami goes to salsa.

This is Shami’s version of bhOndOO goes to salsa. It is written by the same author, Onkar Bhardwaj. Thanks Onkar.


I entered the premises of Advanced Computing Ltd and headed straight for bhOndOO’s cubicle in the Performance Analysis section instead of my own in HR. I was rather late today having spent an hour dressing myself up for today’s Salsa class. Oh! I just can’t wait to show bhOndOO new high-heels I bought yesterday for Salsa, he would be so happy to have a look ! After all, he likes me, though a seedha-saadha geek like him doesn’t have the guts to tell me that. But he doesn’t even know that I too like him precisely because this very simplicity he has.

I skilfully took a roundabout way to bhOndOO’s cubicle to avoid that sticky Gullu. He has this masterful art to barge in and to become kabab-mein-haddi whenever bhOndOO and I are alone for barely five seconds. I tapped lightly on bhOndOO’s cubicle. No response! I looked inside. Oh my God! bhOndOO is practising Salsa on his PC! Just look at him! One hand behind the monitor, another on the speaker and moving feet below the table. And there is a youtube video being played on monitor. Awwwww bhOndOO, you don’t have to do this to impress me. You always try too hard and mess up somewhere. On Valentine’s Day celebrations, you wrote such a romantic poem for me and while hurrying to letter box, you slipped on the wet floor. You don’t even know that it was me who picked up that poem. You will never know!

Wham Bam!! Something broke my reverie. Oh no! it was him lying on the floor with monitor on his face and wires entangled with his feet.

“How did you manage this!!” A scream escaped me and I stepped forward to pick him up.
“Oh, at least he managed something!”. Curse that nalaayak Gullu, he had to come here just at this moment! I stepped back and watched bhOndOO slowly get up. How embarassed he must be to find me here! Look at that poor lamb!

“h… h… hi”, he couldn’t manage more than this trying to recover from the severe shock. Oh somebody help this geek! I just smiled at him.

“I h… hear that we are having s… salsa classes t.. today”, he said.
I saw that he was yet to recover from the shock, stuttering at every other word.

“Oh I know… My boss told me yesterday.. See I am wearing new high-heels today.. How do I look?”.
Oh my god!! What did I just ask him! How do I look! This is too much for him in this situation. Just look at him, he is grappling for words. Honey, don’t say anything, you don’t have to say anything, your eyes are telling me everything you want to say.

“Oh, you look fabulous!”, Gullu took charge.
Gullu, gullu, gullu!! goddamn it!! Stickier than Fevicol!!

“Oh, you are a so cutie pie!”, I controlled myself from slapping him hard in face at the last moment my fingers touched his cheeks. You are going to get these very fingers permanently etched on your cheeks one day. Phir mujhe marte dum tak bhula nahi paoge, mere pyare Gullu!

“I hear that some interesting conversation is going on!” Oh no! that’s bhOndOO’s boss.
“Oh yes, just now bhOndOO was demonstrating to us some results he had got!”, Gullu the nosy-est parker. Tomorrow he is getting run over by my Activa. Yesterday he must have heard bhOndOO telling me that he is yet to get the results of some analysis of some improvement over something of a code segment.

I went back to my cubicle. Awww, today he will have to work whole day to get the results and how is he going to manage attending Salsa? Let him not come and I am going to stomp these high heels on Gullu’s feet. Gullu, just pray to god that you don’t have to sit on seats reserved for handicaps for the rest of your life.

“Let me check a Salsa video.” I thought. I checked a video and found out. Oh ok, so boys take left foot forward and girls take right foot backward in the first step. Gullu, you are dead. We’ll both take our left foot forward and soon you will be walking with your right foot in hand.

I peeped over bhOndOO’s cubicle while returning from lunch. He was still there working, he must have skipped lunch. Gullu, better memorize phone number of ambulance, it’s going to prove very handy.

Fiddling with my work, it was like ages before 17:00., the timing for the Salsa class. I went inside the hall. bhOndOO isn’t here. Gullu is smiling at me. Smile a lot, Mr. Fevicol, this is the last time you get to smile. When the instructor told us to pair up, I went and stood opposite to Gullu. Ab to sirf bhagwaan hi tumhe mujhse bacha sakta hai, mere pyare Gullu!

Gullu’s cellphone rang.
“Wait a sec, Shami, it’s a call from Hitler’s cabin, that’s my boss. I’ll be back soon”, Gullu went to his boss’s cabin. I wondered, How can his boss call him from his cabin? He had left a few minutes ago. Then I saw bhOndOO standing opposite to me. Oh my God! It must have been bhOndOO who had called him! Gullu, tum saat janam-me bhi mere bhOndOO ki baraabari nahi kar sakoge. bhOndOO held my hands in Salsa pose. I could feel that he was shivering.

“Ok, boys, take a step ahead with your left foot…”, the instructor declared.
“Ahhhhhhhh !!!”, bhOndOO’s cry pierced my eardrums.
Oh no, what did I do! How could I take my left foot forward! It was meant to be for Gullu, not for him. I just can’t watch him in intense pain. I’m so sorry bhOndOO, I’m so sorry.

“Oh no, no, that was for boys, not for girls”. the instructor said. I am not that dumb, Mr. instructor! I just hope that his foot is not fractured. The instructor took him to his cubicle and came back. And then I saw Gullu coming my way.

That’s it. Not anymore. No putting up anymore with that Fevicol. If bhOndOO isn’t dancing, I’m not and not evermore when it was I who injured him. I went straight to bhOndOO’s cubicle. I saw bhOndOO applying balm and heard him saying something-hundred-and-sixth-something-something.

“What !! You are talking numbers even when you are injured !! Oh, you are so.. so.. so.. what-to-say, so .. so a geek !!”, I just couldn’t contain myself. Speaking numbers now ! These geeks are incurable.

“How could I dance when you got injured because of me? Soooooo sorrry! Give me the balm, and say that you forgive me!”.
I saw that he was again unable to speak.
“Say na…… You geeky pie!!”
“yy..y.. yes”, finally he managed to utter.

I started applying balm. There were almost eleven months to go for the next Valentine’s Day.

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6 Responses to “shami goes to salsa.”

  1. pranav Says:

    this shami is crueler than i imagined.

  2. Maneesh Says:

    Clarification :

    Shamis hate Bhondoos.

    Shamis eat Kadlepuri on Bhondoos’ poems. They don’t read them.

    Shamis love Gullus.

    Shamis intentionally kick Bhondoos in the shin.

    Shamis never understand what Bhondoos want to say but can’t say.

    Even if they do, they will never consider it said and take appropriate action.

    Because they don’t want to…

  3. Maneesh Says:

    🙂

  4. onkar Says:

    Hi !
    There is a little different setup in the life of bhOndOO-the-geek!

    Shami-the-HR loves bhOndOO-the-geek as well as bhOndOO-the-geek loves Shami-the-HR. Both cant say it.

    Shami hates Gullu.

    Shami always understands what bhOndOO wants to say and considers bhOndOO apple of her eye.

    She always wants to take bhOndOO out of the mess !

    She always wants to but who can help bhOndOO?

    [:)]

  5. Maneesh Says:

    Hmmm… Maybe there’s a hidden lesson in there… 🙂

  6. Satish Says:

    Very good.

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