bhOndOO on a bicycle drive.

bhOndOO is a person who can be inspired by all clubs and groups in campus. Currently he is inspired by the Bicycle Drive and Bicycle Jatha. He wants the campus to be environment friendly and wants everyone to paddle rather than use petrol or electric vehicles.

In this spirit, he managed to get his punctured bicycle repaired after two months. He was to go to Bicycle Jatha organized at CiSTUP at 16:00. He wanted to reach there at 15:45 because he did not want to break his record of having tea when attending a function.

bhOndOO was singing Hum aapki aankhon mein is dil ko basa de to with Shami in Jubilee Gardens. The romance was on the rise, the hands woven in each other, the minds free. bhOndOO continued, “Hum aapko khwabon mein la la ke satayenge” and came the prompt reply, “Hum aapki aankhon se neendein hi udaa de to“. Shami’s melodious voice suddenly turned digital. bhOndOO’s mobile disturbed the romantic affair at 15:30. bhOndOO angrily banged on the digital cause, the culprit was silenced, and bhOndOO returned to the Jubilee Gardens. Unfortunately, Shami had already left. bhOndOO looked for her near the pond, but could not find his dream companion.

When there was nothing else to do, bhOndOO got up in his hostel room and checked the mobile. It was silently hiding itself near the pillow. bhOndOO pressed a button and nothing appeared. He pressed another button but the same effect. He pressed several buttons at once, but the mobile did not respond. It was as if — dead.

bhOndOO was worried — not because someone would convict him of murder, but because he did not have any other equipment to check time on. Will I be late for Bicycle Jatha? Or am I already? The second question is less to do with balanced/complete thinking and more with laziness, i.e., if he is already late, then why hurry! His dead mobile was his only vehicle into the abode of time.

When it comes to dealing with his mobile, bhOndOO is a seasoned criminal. He can silence any mobile with a single bang. But make no mistake, our bhOndOO is b-O-n-d. He knows how to set his things right. He kept looking at the dead body. The distance between them was close to one feet. bhOndOO was looking at it with a stern expression and complete concentration, as if waiting for the right moment.

Then, all of a sudden, the moment arrived. bhOndOO’s mind exhilarated, his eyes sparkled, his breathing stopped. He raised his hand in air and … voila… banged the dead body again! Tink tink tink… tink.. tink, the mummy returned. The mobile started refunctioning. bhOndOO was overjoyed with his supreme power. I am God, bhOndOO declared to himself.

The declaration echoed in his room but suddenly disappered when the mummy showed the time 15:55. Oh man! Did I spend so much time searching for Shami in Jubilee Gardens? I am going to miss the tea for sure. But let me not miss the T-shirt. I must hurry.

All the bicycle participants were promised T-shirts by the organizers. It was now the only goal in front of bhOndOO. I must achieve the Bicycle Jatha T-shirt. Following Vivekananda’s preaching, he arose, awoke, and decided to stop not till the goal was reached. He grabbed the bicycle+room keys from the table, turned and ran towards the room door that signified the entry towards his goal.

While locking the door from outside, bhOndOO got a few seconds to wait, to ponder over the situation and he sensed something missing. But the sense was not strong enough to let him know what exactly was missing. He felt that it was something important, but could not figure it out. It was very abstract and bhOndOO was unable to concretize it.

When his key turned the seventh lever of the lock, the reality prevailed on bhOndOO. He magnified his eyes, uttered Shit!, looked around and turned the levers in the opposite direction. The door opened, bhOndOO ran to his cupboard, opened it, grabbed a shirt and wore it.

While taking out his bicycle, bhOndOO cursed himself, Only because they are going to provide T-shirts there does not mean you should attend the function naked! Anyhow, one calamity was avoided. Another one was on the cards: bhOndOO was almost going to miss reaching on time. Not that bhOndOO is a punctual person, but he did not know whether the T-shirts would be distributed at the start of the function or end, and, of course, he could not disobey Swami Vivekananda.

So bhOndOO started his bicycle drive from New Hostel Block, via Kritika where bhOndOO looked around in vain for Shami, via Hoysala Guest House, then Nesara, then Library. The road in front of the library has always been a hell for bhOndOO and paradise for birds. But it was afternoon and bhOndOO was “safe”. He looked at his mobile, it showed 15:59. bhOndOO knew he was going to make it. He relaxed, slowed down his bicycle and started whistling.

A bicyclist came from behind and took over bhOndOO. While this is a perfectly fine phenomenon in nature that one vehicle takes over another on a road in front of JRD Tata Memorial Library at the Indian Institute of Science in Bangalore, Karnataka, India – 560012, there was something in it that thunderstruck bhOndOO. He did not know what to do and he just stopped three activities in his shabby physique: paddling, breathing and thinking.

What could have happened? What must have the fellow bicycle-rider done? What was the real phenomenon? We will solve this mystery and see whether bhOndOO makes it to the Bicycle Jatha and achieves his goal, after a short break. So don’t go away and we will be right back in a moment.

The fellow paddler looked at bhOndOO and said in the plainest voice, “There is a lizard on your shirt.” and continued paddling. He must have been from one of the biological sciences departments who often fail to distinguish between humans and other animals. For them all the species belong to animalia kingdom and it is perfectly fine if a Hemidactylus Flaviviridis is on the shirt of a Homo Sapien. The biology student was sure not bright enough though, otherwise he would have stopped to see if the wall lizard was trying to mate with bhOndOO.

For lack of options, bhOndOO stopped his bicycle on the left hand side of the road. Some more fellow passengers overtook bhOndOO looking mockingly at him. Some girls made faces and shifted to the right hand side of the road for walking. Everything was digestable — bhOndOO was used to it — but he did not know how to tackle the reptile on his back. He thought of using his mobile for help, but he did not know Darwin’s number.

In reality, both the chordates were frightened. They could not communicate because none of them could see other chordates’s face. bhOndOO was currently not bothered about Bicycle Jatha or T-shirt or Swami Vivekananda, he simply wanted to get rid of the lizard. His anxiety started searching for options. He got many ideas but all of them were Salmanic: they included removing the shirt from his body.

It would not be good. I mean, I am in front of BioChemistry department and there are so many nice girls in it. My shabby appearance would not create a good impression on them. I must look for a more elegant option. I am a researcher, I will get it.

At this moment, bhOndOO felt a strange movement on his back. Finding the situation steady, the lizard tried to move. bhOndOO forgot all about impression and elegant solutions. His left hand moved to the first button on his shirt. Whatever he saved himself of at the hostel room, bhOndOO was going to get into it himself.

The wall lizard must have been a male. It came to the rescue of the other male and ran over his trouser towards the leg, jumped off it onto the road and ran into the sideby bush. It saved bhOndOO of embarrassment in front of BioChemistry department. While all this movement was going on, bhOndOO was rock steady. He did not want to frighten the lizard again and make it take shelter again on his shirt — or who knows where!

The lizard had gone, but the feeling was stubborn. bhOndOO continued sensing that something was still on his back. Like all researchers, bhOndOO is an eternal pessimist. Did the lizard really go away? Could another lizard be there on the shirt? Did the lizard lay eggs in my shirt?

Showing that nothing happened, bhOndOO turned his bicycle. He went straight to his room, confirmed that no other animals had invaded any parts of his body or clothes. He then cleant his cupboard and shoed away the wife of his embarrassment saver.

The Bicycle Jatha missed one bicyclist enthusiast. But bhOndOO did not repent much, for, he later learnt that despite announcement, the organizers did not distribute any T-shirts.


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12 Responses to “bhOndOO on a bicycle drive.”

  1. arun Says:

    Not something I would like to happen to me….

  2. pranav Says:

    good one after a loong time 🙂

  3. Suneel Madhekar Says:

    Hahaha! Wonderful! Reptile-induced Salmanic act right in front of biochemistry!! 🙂 😀

  4. BiGYaN Says:

    Good to see a new post after a long time. I guess bhOndOO was busy enjoying the winter break.

    Thankfully I don’t have lizards present in my room so far. Guess bhOndOO doesn’t live in new block.

  5. vinay Says:

    Somehow, this piece doesn’t seem to have been written by you… Or maybe you were not in your usual bhOndOO elements. I missed your presence through most of the story. It is a nice piece nevertheless and I enjoyed it. It’s relaxing to see bhOndOO back and with him a few smiles and laughters 🙂

  6. Vamsi Says:

    good start for 2010 ! happy new year bhOndOO !

  7. Anaska Says:

    Looks like bhOndOO has to repent now. An e-mail came announcing that the T-shirts for the participants will be distributed on 27th Jan.

  8. Balaji Vishwanath Says:

    All your posts are simply brilliant. I have read through most posts of your blog in one day. I can’t wait to come back and read more. These are superb works. bhOndOO is a creation. You can be proud of it!

  9. Balaji Vishwanath Says:

    Today you have made feel thankful to have found this site. Thanks.

  10. Roger Fraile Says:

    I agree with you point. Its good idea. Thanks. Regards, Roger

  11. Jerrold Apruzzese Says:

    Hey, nice post. Random thought, but I recently read that 70% of Americans do not have passports. I always thought it was the head/club itself. Something totally lower what I would have believed. Anyway, keep up the terrific writing!

  12. bicycle drive t-shirt. « iisc life. Says:

    […] drive t-shirt. By iisc Anaska’s comment on bhOndOO on a bicycle drive triggered this story. It was 16:15. bhOndOO was restless. He just […]

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