Archive for March, 2010

bhOndOO, the philosopher.

Mar 12, 2010

bhOndOO attended a talk on Indian mythology that talked about Rigveda, Aryabhatta and Upanishadas. The speaker was so much enthusiastic in his speech, that the enthusiasm contagiously plagued bhOndOO. I must learn more about mythology and philosophy. Afterall, I am going to become a doctor of philosophy!

bhOndOO then waited for a few moments churning over his own thoughts, recalled pointer analysis, remembered his advisor Prof. Krishnamurthy, and rephrased: Afterall, I am undergoing a course in doctor of philosophy.

By the end of the talk, the speaker had managed to completely transform bhOndOO into a philosopher. bhOndOO allowed everyone to leave and then got up slowly from his chair, his neck tilted by an angle of 25 degrees with the vertical axis. With that tilted physical position, he walked slowly looking mostly towards the ground, as if he had a superman’s vision to look beneath the surface.

The scary physical structure, occasionally nodding its head, started moving towards the J R D Tata Memorial Library. A Tata Indica in its reverse-gear with reverse horn moved beside a No-Horn board and almost hit bhOndOO before the driver applied brakes. bhOndOO casually looked at the car and thought, This is a nice structure: a house on wheels.

Four girls in a perfect horizontal line came from front, but bhOndOO, for a change, did not notice them. The girls expected bhOndOO to take a side step and let them go without a hurdle, but they were unaware of the philosopher within. bhOndOO looked up with his tilted neck, no spark appeared in his eyes behind the strong spects, and came the thought: Rigveda, Samaveda, Yajurveda and Atharvaveda are going together. The four vedas had to split and make a way for the tilted structure.

Just in front of the library, bhOndOO heard a crow shouting with a voice uglier than ‘that’ singer from Rhythmica. bhOndOO looked at the source of the sound, a smile appeared on the 25 degree face, and the philosopher spaketh, “It is singing the philosophy of life.”.

bhOndOO reached the stairs at the library’s entrance. He stood there for a while looking at the entrance. The security guard kept looking at bhOndOO with suspicion. But bhOndOO was not bothered. He uttered, “These are the gates of the heaven of knowledge. Please accept my deepest gratitude.”. The security guard tilted himself from the chair and looked around to see with whom bhOndOO was talking. On finding nobody, he decided to ask bhOndOO what he wanted. But bhOndOO’s next act made him keep shut up.

bhOndOO bent his knees, closed his eyes, threw his hands up in air, bowed down and uttered, “Sharanye Tryambake Gauri Narayani Namostute.”.

The security guard felt off-guard and looked around to check how far the help from other people was, in case required. He was definitely scared. His pulse rate increased to 120 per minute because bhOndOO had now entered the heaven of knowledge and was standing in front of the security guard with a dangerous looking smile and a tilted head. The security guard fixed himself to the chair looking at bhOndOO without blinking. The only separation between them was a table — and the guard felt it to be a saving grace from the maniac.

The maniac suddenly moved towards the security guard. The guard’s involuntary impulse made him hold the strong rod kept beside the table. The maniac’s stare stopped him from picking it up. They both kept looking at each other with strange emotions — the guard with fear, the maniac with smile. And the maniac spoke, “You are the angel at the gates of the heaven.”.

The guard, still at 120 per minute, continued looking with wide open eyes. The pulse rate suddenly increased further when bhOndOO bowed down and lifted the strong rod. The guard was certain to witness a big blow in the head within moments and the shock stopped all his shouting senses. He simply waited there in his chair for maniac-the-dear to bring him to tear. bhOndOO raised his hand holding the strong rod and lo! Down came the bang!

Before the security guard could shout and ask for help, the word ‘philosopher’ that entered his brain from his eyes managed to puzzle him. The curious mind came out of the shock and noticed that bhOdOO had lifted the pen, not the rod, from the table and made an entry into the register: bhOndOO, the philosopher.

bhOndOO came to a computer, typed, “Hari Om Tatsat.”. Nothing happened. He again typed, “Hari Om Tatsat.”. Nothing happened. He adamantly typed again, “Hari Om Tatsat.” and came the adamant answer. “What could be the problem?”, the philosopher asked himself. His eyes then noticed something on the screen where login name was mentioned. He typed opac, was logged in and started searching for books.

“Book Title:” displayed the screen with a blinking cursor waiting for bhOndOO to type. bhOndOO concentrated on the cursor, held his left wrist with his right hand, felt overjoyed and uttered, “This is amazing. This is sakshat the pulse of life that I see in front of me. It is miraculous. This is really a heaven of knowledge.”.

p-h-i-l-o-s-o-p-h-y, he typed. The computer listed several books and the pulse of life highlighted one: Philosophy of Mathematics and mathematic logic. “This is wonderful.”. bhOndOO noted the rack, book and accession numbers and entered the coveted place where holy books on philosophy were stored.

bhOndOO found the book quickly, unlike his former experience. He went towards the reading area where several great scientists, philosophers and elites were taking bath in the holy Ganga of knowledge. bhOndOO acquired a bath-room, uttered, “Hari Om Tatsat.” and opened the book.

Within ten minutes, bhOndOO finished reading two pages. Don’t get into the reading speed calculations, that is not important. The important part is that after that, bhOndOO’s neck straightened, the smile disappeared, he threw the book from where he took it, and left the library immediately — without looking at the security guard. What could be the reason? Well the reason is that some books are so powerful that you can find your self in it — and philosophy books are more so. Here is one example out of the first two pages that proved its power on bhOndOO to bring him back to the real life.

These were singled out for study (Zero and Equation): as they not only appear to define the Cosmic Process as Finite-Infinite as defined and defined, and defined and underfined quantum and Cognate, as resonant on numbers of such experience as further process of continued, undivided existence of metaphysical Cognates as Creation and Growth of Cyclic Transitive-Intransitive of varied Transmissions of Decay and varied Static Entities, as may be understood as metaphysical analysis only on Contra-Logical Plane as Ratio of Real-Unreal Continuity and Conservation of defined and undefined, as may also be understood in the Empiric Process of Mathematics and Sciences, roughly and in higher and higher purties, and larger and smaller scales, as such Simulate-finite Phenomenon on single redistributive root as Cause-Effect Conservation, as done on direct resonance on numbers as simultaneous Conservation both of relative Quantum, as conservation of Quantum, as well as Conservation of perpetual Finite-Infinite product ratios as Infinite variable of Infinite definition, as may be made to appear as of any denomination as Conservation in the Finite as appear all Equations as on Balance between Finite and Finite as between Infinite and Finite as Several of Several as Several of ONE.


a fan on open day.

Mar 7, 2010

bhOndOO was running around. He had nothing to do and didn’t want any visitors to know it. All the CSA Open Day volunteers were busy executing their tasks: some were conducting contests, some were correcting papers, some were taking photographs, some were arranging for talks, and nobody was running around without purpose.

What should I do? I can’t even be in my lab — it is in SERC.

While surveying all labs, he realized that E-Commerce lab is the most crowded. Hence he decided to spend time there.

E-Commerce lab was full of visitors when bhOndOO entered. Three students in different corners were explaining different projects in the lab: Dharika about auctions, Suji about cooperative games and Rama about social networks. While Suji and Rama were surrounded by a mix of genders, Dharika was surrounded only by male visitors. The lab students had a lot of posters and demonstrations, and pamphlets to be distributed. bhOndOO felt inferior because SERC had not allowed visitors to enter any of its research labs.

The next instant, Gullu entered the lab. He was the lead volunteer of Open Day. bhOndOO felt jealous because Gullu looked busy.

“Hey guys, how is it going?”, Gullu asked in a commanding voice to the people explaining game theory to the visitors.

“Wonderful.”, “Lot of crowd.”, “Tiring.”, were the three responses.

Gullu glanced at and ignored bhOndOO. bhOndOO felt worse.

Suddenly, Dharika remembered something and “Gullu, for the puzzle solving contest, we will need enough rough sheets. Can you arrange for some pages?”.

“Sure, I will arrange for those in 15 minutes.”, and he turned to leave.

“But where will you be, if someone asks?”, Dharika enquired.

“Call me on my mobile.”.

“I don’t have…”.

“bhOndOO has.” and Gullu was away.

bhOndOO suddenly felt a joy of proving helpful. He was waiting for Dharika to ask him Gullu’s number, but she continued explaining auctions to the male visitors. bhOndOO went into the great depression again.

The next instant, a young girl entered the lab, looked around and went to Dharika. Dharika continued auction theory.

“Excuse me?”, the young visitor asked.


“I want to meet the author of the blog Research Life?”.

Dharika kept looking at the visitor for a second, then looked at another corner in the lab and, “bhOndOO?”.

bhOndOO, hearing an unexpected call, started looking everywhere clueless. He saw a big crowd looking at him inquisitively, with two female faces: one indifferent and another with eyes sparkling.

Before bhOndOO could answer or Dharika could continue, the young girl with sparkling eyes marched forward, “Oh! You write that blog!”.

bhOndOO kept silent understanding nothing.

“I am a big fan of your blog.”.

A smile, a bit wider than fitting into the definition of a smile, appeared on bhOndOO’s face. He inadvertantly replied, “Thank you.” and thought, I did not know I have fans.

“You have an amazing sense of humour.”.

Humour? May be she is talking about the post when I ran after the mouse with a knife.

The smile widened.

“I have read all of your posts.”.

I might only have at most five posts. But nevertheless. “Really!”, he managed.

“And all of them are just hilarious!”.

By now bhOndOO had started blushing. All the other people in the lab were silently watching the show. bhOndOO was on the seventh sky. The great depression era had come to an end.

“I wonder how you manage to write such a brilliant stuff! You should publish a book.”.

If I can publish a book with five entries, I have a huge career opportunity in writing. “Oh! I am not that great a writer.”.

“No seriously. Your stories are so amazing, anybody would be ready to publish those.”.

She is calling my blurts as stories? I never looked at my posts so seriously. May be I should go back and re-read. “That is so nice of you to say.”.

“Oh! God! I can’t believe that I am meeting you.”.

bhOndOO felt shy. He didn’t dare look around at the lab people. The lab people were silently listening.

“One of my favorites is the story when you go to Nandi Hills.”.

“Ya… Sorry? What?”.

“The blog post on your trip to Nandi Hills?”.

“I never blogged about Nandi Hills.”.

“Oh! Come on! The one in which you narrated the incident in a bus.”.

“Bus? I don’t remember.”.

“There is a music band in the bus.”.

“What are you talking about?”.

The enthusiasm on the girl’s face changed to that of suspicion, “You are the author of Research Life, right?”.

“No, he is not.”, Dharika finally found her chance to speak.

“What?”, the fan was clearly disappointed.

“He writes about … about … something which cannot be categorized and which nobody reads.”.

bhOndOO looked down — back to great depression.

“The one you are looking for is Gullu. He writes Research Life. He just went out. But bhOndOO, this person, has his mobile number. Hence I was asking him. But you hurried to mistake him for Gullu.”.

“Oh! Silly me! How can I make such a blunder! When will Gulluji be back?”.


“He will be back in 10-15 minutes.”.

“Will he come here?”.


“Then I will wait here for him.”.

“You can go around and have a look at the demos in different labs and come back.”.

“No. I don’t want to miss him.”.

“You can take his number from bhOndOO. bhOndOO?”.

bhOndOO had left the lab long ago.

This post is dedicated to the young visitor who met me on Open Day.

It was indeed my pleasure to meet her. I wish her all the very best in life.