Posts Tagged ‘bicycle’

holi hai!!!

Mar 23, 2008

bhOndOO is very tensed — no, no, he is not proposing anyone. He is worried about tomorrow’s Holi celebrations. For a few obvious reasons, bhOndOO is a favorite victim of each one of his friends — after their non-corresponding girl-friends. The most obvious reason is: bhOndOO does not like to play Holi.

bhOndOO searches for alternatives:

  • I will lock myself in the room for the whole day. But how will I mange to go to the restroom? In the room…? no, no!
  • I will apply so much color to my own face that others will not recognize me. Well, I tried this last year. They recognize me very easily — even on Holi, no other student can beat me in shabbiness.
  • I will go out of campus. Umm…

Lack of counter-argument to the thought leaves bhOndOO with the feeling that going out of campus is the best idea! I am proud of you, bhOndOO tells himself for coming up with such a wonderful solution.

But where should I go? I don’t even have any relatives to go to. If I simply roam around, some people or children may throw colors at me. bhOndOO goes deep in his thoughts. bhOndOO has the unique ability of going deep into thoughts and not coming up with a solution (That is why he does not think deep on his research work. His argument is: Why waste brain, when even after not thinking, I get the same result?).

“Hi bhOndOO.”, someone disturbs bhOndOO’s in-depth thinking.

“Hello Paresh.”, bhOndOO replies, and suddenly, bhOndOO starts looking at Paresh as if he is an angel sent by God.

“Paresh, you stay in married quarters?”.

“No, I stay outside — at Sanjay Nagar. I applied for a married quarter when I joined. My name was in queue at number 72. Now it is at 84.”.

“What? How come?”, bhOndOO is inquisitive.

“The list is sorted according to seniority in the institute. Thus, if some senior PhD student gets married and then he applies for the quarters, he will get priority over me. I am expecting that I will get the degree and the accommodation at the same time.”.

They both laugh and bhOndOO knows that this is the time to ask for favor.

“Paresh, is it okay if I come to your house tomorrow? Actually, I do not wish to play Holi and you know how the situation is in campus.”.

Paresh waits for a second and then “Yeah, sure. No problem. You remember my house, know?”.

“Yes, I do. Thanks Paresh. I will come early morning, so as not to get caught.”.

“No problem. Come any time.”.

bhOndOO feels very happy, starts checking his emails, then suddenly turns back to Paresh and asks, “But, you don’t play Holi at home, right?”.

Paresh starts laughing very loudly, “No, no. Don’t worry. My wife does not like to play Holi, like you.”.

bhOndOO feels that he has won the war. He remembers all his cruel friends who threw bhOndOO in a water tank last year and tells them (in mind): Now you all see!

Next day, bhOndOO’s alarm wakes him up at 06:00. He does not remember the reason for the alarm, but he casually wakes up, switches on the light with sleepy eyes and looks around in the room. He suddenly sees a black devil-like man standing beside him! “Aaaaa…”, bhOndOO shouts. After a second, bhOndOO curses himself for frightening him with his own face. It is only a mirror, man!, bhOndOO tells himself. He has applied a lot of oil to his face in the night and a good amount of dirt gets stuck to his face from his dirty bedsheet.

Losing all sleep, controlling his heartbeats, and coming to senses, bhOndOO realizes about his plan! I must hurry. bhOndOO opens the door, looks around in the corridor, feels happy to witness no one, gets freshed in the rest-room, picks up the bicycle key, locks his room and starts.

At every step, bhOndOO is frightened. He knows that even if one person sees him, all is lost! He cautiously reaches his bicycle and starts. He sees a couple of boys on the road, but looking at their plain faces, he realizes that they are also going outside campus to avoid Holi.

bhOndOO crosses the IISc gate. Good that Bangalorians don’t play Holi. He notices a few burnt wood pieces and a very few people, but nobody is interested in bhOndOO. bhOndOO knows that he has achieved it, he relaxes himself, and paddles slowly.

Bangalore weather is wonderful — more so at twilight. I should start morning walk — it will not only give me joy, but also help my belly… I hope, Paresh and his wife are not sleeping. But it is okay, he has asked me to come any time… What must everybody be thinking in the hostel? Gullu, BenJi, Surya, … everybody must be wondering about my whereabouts!…

bhOndOO smiles and pats himself.

I think this is the house. Yes, indeed; I remember the Hibiscus. bhOndOO parks his bicycle at the gate. He angles down over his bicycle to lock it. But suddenly, someone hits his back with a strong rod, and then his head. bhOndOO does not realize what is happening. When he comes to senses, he sees himself on the floor, with bicycle beneath him, but in horizontal plane. He finds himself bleeding and his attackers are shouting around to kill him. He knows that he is going to die.

When bhOndOO comes to the next level of senses, he looks up in the direction of the voices. He finds Paresh, Gullu, BenJi, Surya, and four other unrecognizable faces on the terrace with empty buckets.


the dog and the doc.

Mar 5, 2008

bhOndOO was in a hurry. He was already late for dinner. He would only be getting rice in mess — hopefully. “I haven’t eaten snacks! Why did I go with Anu for the useless shopping? She wanted a coolie!”.

In anger, bhOndOO missed the paddle of his bicycle. He looked at the paddle, adjusted his chappals and paddled properly. The dark road beside Instrumentation department and looking down at the paddles did not allow bhOndOO to notice the weekly meeting of dogs. Dogs did notice bhOndOO, but mistook him for a colleague wishing to join late for the meeting.

When bhOndOO came to senses, he saw his bicycle beneath him but in a horizontal plane, two dogs barking at him in the vertical plane, and a dog making a cracking sound running away — in the Z-direction, while he himself sitting peacefully on the road chewing grass.

“The grass smells strange!”, he noted. When he concentrated his pupils towards the grass coming out of his mouth through his yet-intact big spects, he realized that the grass was actually a group of long hair. “I am eating some girl’s hair!!!”. He looked for a girl nearby, but did not see any. However, he noticed the dog who had run away, looking at him with wide open eyes with a strange mix of terror and anger. bhOndOO realized that the hair he had in his mouth had their origin in the dog’s tail.

bhOndOO, at once, blew off the whole grass. Looking at his face, the nearby dogs got frightened and stopped barking. He got up to lift his bicycle. Dogs ran away.

bhOndOO returned to CSA dept, entered the rest room, and watered his mouth six times and he was still feeling the strange smell. He knew that he had almost eaten a dog-tail. He had forgotten dinner by now.

“I must see a doctor.”, bhOndOO told himself. He went straight to the Health Center to see Dr Shepte.

“What happened?”.

“I bit a dog.”.

“Then what are you doing here? Bring the dog.”, Dr Shepte chuckled.

After taking no medicines from the Health Center, bhOndOO returned to the mess. There was some rice left, but bhOndOO did not feel like eating anything. He imagined long hair coming out of the rice-bowl! He let the idea of dinner forgo and went up to his room and slept. In his dreams, he saw himself barking beside Instrumentation department.

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the call on valentine’s day.

Feb 18, 2008

bhOndOO got up early on Feb 14, 2008. He had dreamt of many girls presenting roses to him. He prayed to God, opened the door of his room, and looked at the latch; there was no card, rose, or letter. He checked the door, floor and window; but no luck. “Never mind. The day has just begun.”, bhOndOO cheered himself up.

After bathing for 45 min, wearing a red T-shirt and the new sports shoes, bhOndOO started on his bicycle. On the way, he noticed many (and only) girls and kept smiling. He kept paddling slow to give enough scope to the girls to approach him. No one did. “Never mind. They all are unknown to me.”, bhOndOO told himself.

He entered the class and noticed only boys. He seated himself in presumably elegant manner in the row just in front of the class door — to get noticed first by any girl entering the lecture. He kept waiting but no one entered. Later he realized that Compiler Design course was not taken by any girl! “Never mind. I will go to the lab after the lecture.”.

Prof Sree started with the theory of data flow analysis. bhOndOO could not concentrate. He kept thinking of Shami… Shami and bhOndOO… Shami and bhOndOO in a garden… Shami and bhOndOO in a garden singing a song… Shami and bhOndOO in a garden singing a song, Pehla Nasha, Pehla Khumaar… Shami and bhOndOO in a garden singing Pehla Nasha, Pehla Khumaar while others are watching them. bhOndOO suddenly realized that everyone in the class was looking at him. “Why did I come out of my dream, it was so nice, Shami was looking beautiful, the song was also so romantic… Oh! How can I listen to the song if I am not dreaming?”. Getting the grasp of the situation, bhOndOO took out his mobile and pushed the red button. Prof Sree resumed the theory. bhOndOO ignored Prof Sree’s look and clicked a few buttons to make the mobile silent. He could not recognize the number from where he got the call.

After two min, his mobile started vibrating. He took out the mobile and saw the same number. “What if some girl is calling me? Should I take the call? I can’t! What should I do? Shall I go out?”. Prof Sree’s another look made bhOndOO reject the call. But he became impatient. There was still an hour for lecture completion.

bhOndOO kept thinking of all the girls he knew from primary, middle-school, high-school, junior-college, and college. “Could it be Bobby? Could it be Shalini? Could it be …? … Could it be Shami?”. bhOndOO got restless.

As the lecture got over, bhOndOO came out and called back. He felt it taking more than ages to connect. The ring went on for another round of ages. Finally, someone picked up. bhOndOO wanted to hear a feminine voice. He prayed to God, closed his eyes, his heart-beats jumping but breath stopped!

“Hello?”, a girl from the other side.

bhOndOO got delighted. With a big smile on his face, he said, “Hi. I got a call from this number. May I know who is it?”.

“Sir, I am calling from CitiBank. Would you be interested in a personal loan?”.