Posts Tagged ‘mobiles’

bhOndOO goes to an ipl match.

Jun 3, 2008

Special Thanks and Kudos to Arun for composing this hilarious story — that too in bhOndOO-style.

bhOndOO was excited. He was going to watch the Delhi-Mumbai IPL match that evening in Delhi. His friend, Gullu had managed to get hold of four passes and had invited bhOndOO to go with him.

Since bhOndOO did not have a camera (and he wanted to impress the others somehow) he took his pair of binoculars. However, his plans were shattered by the guard with big moustache who did not allow him to enter the stadium itself (that was when he came to know that binoculars, cameras etc are not allowed inside). Instead of being impressed, he got scolded by the others for not being aware of this fact and had to walk back around 1.5 km to keep the binoculars in the car. After hurrying back, he tried to jump the queue this time saying that he already been in the queue once, but the guard with the big moustache refused to let him in again asking him to get in the long queue. Wearily, bhOndOO obeyed and was finally able to enter, this time the guard did not stop him. After being scolded again by Gullu for wasting so much time, they hurried inside the stadium to get good seats. They chose seats next to a pretty girl because:

  1. The girl was very pretty.
  2. They could come on TV because cameramen usually focus on such girls.

bhOndOO took the seat next to the girl. The girl glanced at him barely once and turned away to chat with her male friend. bhOndOO thought of all possible ways to start a conversation including the standard line “haven’t we met before” but decided not to do so… her friend looked as dangerous and powerful as the guard with the big moustache.

The match started. The sequence of events were as follows.

The batsman would hit a four or six. Everyone would jump up screaming from their seats. bhOndOO however remained seated at all times. He was determined to show his best behaviour to the girl. He did not wish to appear uncivilized by jumping on his seat and so, kept seated and applauded politely whenever there was a four or six. Even though he could not see most of the match because of people standing in front of him, he remained seated with a dignified expression on his face determined not behave like a hooligan.

The innings ended. Everyone was now seated waiting for the second innings to start. The girl next to bhOndOO looked around, saw bhOndOO and hesitated. bhOndOO braced himself. Did she like me? Is she going to talk to me? All these questions ran through his mind when he heard her say, “Um… Would you mind taking a picture of ours?” Behind, her friend grinned wickedly at him (or so bhOndOO thought). At first, he thought, how did she bring in a camera; then realized the girl was offering her mobile phone. bhOndOO had never used the camera in a mobile before. He took the mobile with an expression similar to the one he had on his face when he had seen a lizard in his food. Not wanting to ask how to take a pic, he prayed that it would be the main button of the mobile. He stood up, everyone around was seated, so naturally the attention shifted to him. He kept the mobile at his face level and quickly pressed the button. Quickly, he tried to return the mobile to the girl but she was looking at him with a puzzled expression on her face. She said, “I think you have taken a picture of your nose.”.

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madhu’s marriage gift and the sms chaos.

May 23, 2008

Madhu (the punctual fame) was going to spoil Prashant’s life. Everyone in the Voices team had decided to gather at Coffee Board sharp at 20:00 and start for the night ceremony. bhOndOO had an additional responsibility of buying a wedding gift before coming to Coffee Board. Mails had resulted in several suggestions for the gift, but nothing was finalized (as usual) and it was left at the discretion of bhOndOO (not so usual).

Apart from many other problems that bhOndOO has (and creates), his mobile had started malfunctioning: when sending an SMS to someone, irrespective of whom the message is sent, it used to go to the last person who sent an SMS to bhOndOO. bhOndOO was blissed, since ignorance is a bliss and bhOndOO was totally ignorant of this malfunctioning.

It started raining at 18:00 and bhOndOO could not go out to buy any gift. His umbrella was torn by a sudden attack of a few birds after the birds read this post. He kept waiting for the rain to stop and the rain-fall reduced at 19:45. bhOndOO grabbed his bicycle and rode to Coffee Board. The rain managed to fool him and he got wet.

Note: Please read the next part carefully.

It was 20:00 and there was nobody else in Coffee Board. bhOndOO took out his mobile and started messaging junta.
“Where are you?”, meant for Sudhir, gone to BenJi (BenJi had SMSed bhOndOO last).
However, Sudhir also tried to communicate with bhOndOO.
“We are near Ramaiyya Hospital in Ajay Sir’s car, got a lift from him. He is also attending the marriage.”, from Sudhir.
Within a few seconds bhOndOO got a reply, “I am in Goa.”, from BenJi. bhOndOO could read the sender’s name, but was not at all interested in BenJi’s whereabouts.
“Why didn’t you take me?”, meant for Sudhir, gone to BenJi.
“I came here with my fiancée!”, from BenJi.
“I am coming directly to the hall with my wife.”, from Paresh.
bhOndOO was not at all interested in BenJi’s personal matters.
“So what should I do?”, meant for BenJi, gone to Paresh. Paresh was baffled!
“Shall we buy some gift on the way?”, from Sudhir.
“We are going to a beach right now.”, from BenJi.
“Shall I buy the gift? We are in a gift shop right now.”, from Paresh — trying to be calm.
“Okay, go ahead.”, meant for BenJi, gone to Paresh.
“Are you coming to Goa this weekend?”, from BenJi.
“No.”, meant for Sudhir, gone to BenJi.
“I may be back to Bangalore next weekend.”, from BenJi.
“We will probably buy coupons only.”, from Sudhir — clarifying his suggestion.
“That sounds great!”, meant for BenJi, gone to Sudhir.
“Today is Madhu’s wedding, right? What did you buy for her?”, from BenJi (from Goa).
“No. I will buy.”, meant for Sudhir, gone to BenJi.
“Okay, will talk to you later.”, from BenJi.
“Yes. Yes.”, meant for BenJi (for previous question), gone to BenJi (for recent message).
“See you there.”, from Sudhir.
“See you.”, from Paresh.
“Okay. See you.”, meant for Sudhir, gone to Paresh.
“Okay. See you.”, meant for Paresh, gone to Paresh (a second time).

At 20:30, Voices team greeted Madhu with three gifts: a wooden showpiece, a coupon, and a wet best-seller on time management.

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on the rocks.

Mar 19, 2008

Close friends are like mobile phones. They convey messages even when they are silent.

Not my words. Those are from the highly read blog of The Bartender Bhai.