bhOndOO, the philosopher.

bhOndOO attended a talk on Indian mythology that talked about Rigveda, Aryabhatta and Upanishadas. The speaker was so much enthusiastic in his speech, that the enthusiasm contagiously plagued bhOndOO. I must learn more about mythology and philosophy. Afterall, I am going to become a doctor of philosophy!

bhOndOO then waited for a few moments churning over his own thoughts, recalled pointer analysis, remembered his advisor Prof. Krishnamurthy, and rephrased: Afterall, I am undergoing a course in doctor of philosophy.

By the end of the talk, the speaker had managed to completely transform bhOndOO into a philosopher. bhOndOO allowed everyone to leave and then got up slowly from his chair, his neck tilted by an angle of 25 degrees with the vertical axis. With that tilted physical position, he walked slowly looking mostly towards the ground, as if he had a superman’s vision to look beneath the surface.

The scary physical structure, occasionally nodding its head, started moving towards the J R D Tata Memorial Library. A Tata Indica in its reverse-gear with reverse horn moved beside a No-Horn board and almost hit bhOndOO before the driver applied brakes. bhOndOO casually looked at the car and thought, This is a nice structure: a house on wheels.

Four girls in a perfect horizontal line came from front, but bhOndOO, for a change, did not notice them. The girls expected bhOndOO to take a side step and let them go without a hurdle, but they were unaware of the philosopher within. bhOndOO looked up with his tilted neck, no spark appeared in his eyes behind the strong spects, and came the thought: Rigveda, Samaveda, Yajurveda and Atharvaveda are going together. The four vedas had to split and make a way for the tilted structure.

Just in front of the library, bhOndOO heard a crow shouting with a voice uglier than ‘that’ singer from Rhythmica. bhOndOO looked at the source of the sound, a smile appeared on the 25 degree face, and the philosopher spaketh, “It is singing the philosophy of life.”.

bhOndOO reached the stairs at the library’s entrance. He stood there for a while looking at the entrance. The security guard kept looking at bhOndOO with suspicion. But bhOndOO was not bothered. He uttered, “These are the gates of the heaven of knowledge. Please accept my deepest gratitude.”. The security guard tilted himself from the chair and looked around to see with whom bhOndOO was talking. On finding nobody, he decided to ask bhOndOO what he wanted. But bhOndOO’s next act made him keep shut up.

bhOndOO bent his knees, closed his eyes, threw his hands up in air, bowed down and uttered, “Sharanye Tryambake Gauri Narayani Namostute.”.

The security guard felt off-guard and looked around to check how far the help from other people was, in case required. He was definitely scared. His pulse rate increased to 120 per minute because bhOndOO had now entered the heaven of knowledge and was standing in front of the security guard with a dangerous looking smile and a tilted head. The security guard fixed himself to the chair looking at bhOndOO without blinking. The only separation between them was a table — and the guard felt it to be a saving grace from the maniac.

The maniac suddenly moved towards the security guard. The guard’s involuntary impulse made him hold the strong rod kept beside the table. The maniac’s stare stopped him from picking it up. They both kept looking at each other with strange emotions — the guard with fear, the maniac with smile. And the maniac spoke, “You are the angel at the gates of the heaven.”.

The guard, still at 120 per minute, continued looking with wide open eyes. The pulse rate suddenly increased further when bhOndOO bowed down and lifted the strong rod. The guard was certain to witness a big blow in the head within moments and the shock stopped all his shouting senses. He simply waited there in his chair for maniac-the-dear to bring him to tear. bhOndOO raised his hand holding the strong rod and lo! Down came the bang!

Before the security guard could shout and ask for help, the word ‘philosopher’ that entered his brain from his eyes managed to puzzle him. The curious mind came out of the shock and noticed that bhOdOO had lifted the pen, not the rod, from the table and made an entry into the register: bhOndOO, the philosopher.

bhOndOO came to a computer, typed, “Hari Om Tatsat.”. Nothing happened. He again typed, “Hari Om Tatsat.”. Nothing happened. He adamantly typed again, “Hari Om Tatsat.” and came the adamant answer. “What could be the problem?”, the philosopher asked himself. His eyes then noticed something on the screen where login name was mentioned. He typed opac, was logged in and started searching for books.

“Book Title:” displayed the screen with a blinking cursor waiting for bhOndOO to type. bhOndOO concentrated on the cursor, held his left wrist with his right hand, felt overjoyed and uttered, “This is amazing. This is sakshat the pulse of life that I see in front of me. It is miraculous. This is really a heaven of knowledge.”.

p-h-i-l-o-s-o-p-h-y, he typed. The computer listed several books and the pulse of life highlighted one: Philosophy of Mathematics and mathematic logic. “This is wonderful.”. bhOndOO noted the rack, book and accession numbers and entered the coveted place where holy books on philosophy were stored.

bhOndOO found the book quickly, unlike his former experience. He went towards the reading area where several great scientists, philosophers and elites were taking bath in the holy Ganga of knowledge. bhOndOO acquired a bath-room, uttered, “Hari Om Tatsat.” and opened the book.

Within ten minutes, bhOndOO finished reading two pages. Don’t get into the reading speed calculations, that is not important. The important part is that after that, bhOndOO’s neck straightened, the smile disappeared, he threw the book from where he took it, and left the library immediately — without looking at the security guard. What could be the reason? Well the reason is that some books are so powerful that you can find your self in it — and philosophy books are more so. Here is one example out of the first two pages that proved its power on bhOndOO to bring him back to the real life.

These were singled out for study (Zero and Equation): as they not only appear to define the Cosmic Process as Finite-Infinite as defined and defined, and defined and underfined quantum and Cognate, as resonant on numbers of such experience as further process of continued, undivided existence of metaphysical Cognates as Creation and Growth of Cyclic Transitive-Intransitive of varied Transmissions of Decay and varied Static Entities, as may be understood as metaphysical analysis only on Contra-Logical Plane as Ratio of Real-Unreal Continuity and Conservation of defined and undefined, as may also be understood in the Empiric Process of Mathematics and Sciences, roughly and in higher and higher purties, and larger and smaller scales, as such Simulate-finite Phenomenon on single redistributive root as Cause-Effect Conservation, as done on direct resonance on numbers as simultaneous Conservation both of relative Quantum, as conservation of Quantum, as well as Conservation of perpetual Finite-Infinite product ratios as Infinite variable of Infinite definition, as may be made to appear as of any denomination as Conservation in the Finite as appear all Equations as on Balance between Finite and Finite as between Infinite and Finite as Several of Several as Several of ONE.


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15 Responses to “bhOndOO, the philosopher.”

  1. :) Says:

    Ehmm, this is a real book? Tried googling both, the title and the text; didn’t get any hits. Just curious, i’m not going to go out and issue the book. 🙂

    For benefit of junta-at-large, the last couple of racks in the Compact Section have a lot of out-of-print but very valuable books.


  2. iisc Says:

    Yes, it is a real book. I am glad google could not reach it. Library should be able to give you the heavenly experience.

  3. vinay Says:

    hahahaha.. 😀
    Was literally springing up from my chair while reading this…rollicking!! 😀

  4. Kvrmurthy Says:

    Oooooooooooooofffffffffffffffffff! The author of that book should be awarded “No-Bell” prize.

  5. Gururaja KV Says:

    Dear author,

    In the super natural act of bhOndOO getting double delight of enlightenment from IISc, a heart rendering event followed after this writeup.

    The holy ‘crow’ near the library committed suicide because of agony, insult and frustration in under went on comparing him with that Rhythmica. He left a suicidal note saying, “Even though no one is responsible for my decision, but the voice on which I have no control was compared and I wanted to silence this voice forever”.

    may holy ‘crow’s soul rested forever in space and in peace!!!

  6. iisc Says:

    :). Gururaja, thanks for letting me know of the blunder. I understand the damage caused by the comparison cannot be undone. But I would join you in the prayer.

    May it rest in peace.

  7. pranav Says:

    lol @ “It is singing the philosophy of life.”
    and not a single fullstop in that last para! that almost seems like a product of 1000 filosofers typing madly with typewriters 😛

  8. Kiran Tikare Says:

    😀 😀 , Bhondoo got the philosophical insight at last.

  9. Rik Says:

    great.. dear bhondoo i really xpected sm njoyment in ur blogs.. but the one liner at the end of this blog made me feel dizzy. but a good one. btw who is the author and what is the book titled?

  10. iisc Says:

    Rik, the book is Philosophy of Mathematics and Mathematic Logic by N. Shanmuga Sundaram.

  11. V Says:

    how did u manage to get that paragraph in memory???

  12. iisc Says:

    Vadhana, I mugged up the whole paragraph after reading it about 10-15 times. I revised it while taking bath, while bicyling, while waiting for my advisor and just before sleeping. I also practised it by saying it aloud in front of the mirror…

    Yes, you guessed it right. I simply wrote it down from the book.

  13. V Says:

    Whether I enjoyed the post or not, I enjoyed this comment..have tears out of excessive laughter 😀
    i thought bhOndOO threw the book without notes making.. u didn’t mention in this post about the written skills of bhOndOO.. 🙂

  14. Suneel Madhekar Says:

    Haha! Welcome to the desert of the real, bhOndOO! 🙂

  15. Hari Says:

    You are amazing… its testing my limits of continued laughter!!! and the best part is that I did not miss a single fraction of second out of the flow… and it even reached my high expectations on the ending punch during the read!!!!

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