Posts Tagged ‘proposing’

bhOndOO proposes.

Jan 16, 2012

bhOndOO has forgotten about dinner. He has been left alone by BenJi and Gullu in the computing lab.

Shall I? he thinks.

Without knowing what he is going to speak, he takes out his mobile and calls Shami. Every ring doubles his pulse rate. He closes his eyes, and then…

bhOndOO opens eyes and keeps looking at the unanswered call message.

Has she gone to the mess? Or… has she gone out for celebrating thesis submission? But she should have taken her mobile. Then, where must she be?

bhOndOO comes out of the lab. He forgets to greet the security person as he usually does.

“Good night, Sir.”

“Oh! Good night, Vaidyaji.”.

He leaves the CSA department and his feet show him the way. He walks past Instrumentation, MCBL and BioChemistry. The vehicles disappear and the tarred road is left behind. The sky spreads its wings, glistening with golden pearls. The just arisen full moon winks at bhOndOO. A chilly breeze runs around announcing, “He has arrived.”.

The miss of a pulse makes him aware that she is there, standing right at the feet of J N Tata statue. He tries hard to control his expressions while walking towards the statue, and fails miserably. The waves within him want to reach the moon.

She sees him and doesn’t get surprised. A smile does make an entry though.

And here they are, standing in front of J N Tata, almost in a church, awaiting, “I do.”.

She is looking straight into his eyes and, despite his tries, is able to see the expanse of all the waves within him.

The silence between them starts killing. He doesn’t know whether to kill the silence with “Hello.”, “Congrats.” or “Have you bought railway tickets?”, and he hasn’t even rehearsed anything this time. Her gaze keeps him occupied.

“Shami…”.

He doesn’t, but she knows that he never utters her name. The softness in his voice reveals everything. She can’t help close her eyes.

She opens her eyes to see her friend, lover, future. She knows he cares for her. She knows he exists for her. She knows he would die for her. But she wants him to say it. She wants to hear those three magic words. She wants him to embrace.

She is madly in love with him. Despite Gullu’s warnings, despite bhOndOO’s failures, despite he being the topic of laughter, within the last few years, he has encompassed her mind completely. Not seeing him troubles her. Seeing him troubles her more. She searches for him everywhere in campus, despite knowing he is nowhere nearby. Her day starts with his thought, goes watching him and ends dreaming of him. She has not remained her own; she has completely become his mistress.

Her expectant look and the echo of the most beautiful word in his own voice startles him. He gasps for breath. He gasps for words. He gasps for an “I do.”.

He knows he has to do it. It is his chance, it is his time and it is his life. It is now or never.

“Shami… I… I…”.

“Go on.”.

Her words surprise and encourage him at the same time. He continues.

“I thought about it umpteen number of times. I am not the smartest person you know. I am not the richest person around. Nor am I the most eligible bachelor.”.

She is listening.

“I may not be as warm as your parents, but I care for you. I may not be your best friend, but I respect your feelings. I may not be the most revered person around, but I am true to you. I am not omnipresent, but I am always there for you. I may not know what to say when you are sad, but I will be able to offer you a listening ear. I may not know how to make you smile, but I will smile with you. I may not be the best person around, but I will be good to you. And until recently, I used to believe that I will be able to convince you by showing how much I… how much… I love you.”.

Two storms in two hearts, and yet the duo is stand-still. Those who have experienced it know that it is difficult to say it the first time, and equally difficult when you hear it. A few moments pass in silence.

“However, I realized that I am not the only person who loves you so much. All your friends do. Your relatives do. Your parents do. Perhaps much more than what I can.”.

She is looking at him, with her big eyes, now watery.

“They all can support you emotionally, financially, psychologically. They can give you anything you want. They can make you smile. They can keep you happy. They can create the best world for you.”.

His voice saddens, “So I have nothing special or more or better to offer than anyone else. Neither more intelligence, nor more wealth, nor more love. Nothing.”.

A tiny drop settles on the lower eyelid of her left eye. It glistens in the moon-light, innocently, unaware of the reason of its existence. It saddens him further; he is not yet strong enough to be responsible for her tears. How can he bring her back? How can he make her smile? What should he say? Didn’t he want to propose her? And what has he done? He can’t leave her like this. This can’t be the end of the story?

Despite all his limitations, bhOndOO is b-O-n-d, and he cannot stop being one at this critical juncture of his life. He has to do it! He must.

And he does, with a faint mischievous smile on his face, “There is only one way I can become special.”.

She is trying to gather the meaning of the sudden change of his facial expressions, simultaneously trying to predict his future words. bhOndOO pauses a little allowing her to try. She fails.

“And I would be special only if… you love me.”.

bhOndOO smiles, relaxing himself. Shami smiles, understanding the googly and clearly appreciating the argumentative Indian’s argument.

bhOndOO asks, “There is no one else who has that special ability and I can attain it, only if you tell me. So now, do you love me?”.

bhOndOO’s googly turns the scene by 180 degrees. It was him who had to say it, but he is making her say it! Shami is too shy to say it in words. She looks down.

bhOndOO leans forward and asks in a whisperous voice, “Shami… do you love me?”.

Shami smiles and nods.

The waves have silenced, the moon is brighter, the wind is smiling, the two souls are happy.

bhOndOO steps closer to Shami. For the first time, her blood pressure is higher than that of bhOndOO. But she makes no attempt to step back. bhOndOO is standing very close to her; she doesn’t know what he is going to do. bhOndOO leans forward and holds her hand. She gasps for breathe.

But before bhOndOO could experience Rajendra Kumar’s “Meri rag rag mein koi bark si lahrayi thi, jab tere marmari hathon ko chchua tha maine”, J N Tata starts blowing a whistle. Shami quickly takes away her hand. When bhOndOO comes to senses, he realizes that the security guard at the main building, who has so far been watching them suspiciously, has taken offense. bhOndOO looks at him angrily — because the guard cannot see bhOndOO’s facial expressions in the dark. But he sees that the guard is actually standing quietly. Then who is blowing the whistle?

It is Gullu, and along with him come running BenJi, Lili, Chunna, Munna, Tingi, Mungi. Shami steps back smiling. bhOndOO steps back thinking, And I call them friends!

Everyone gathers around and joyously congratulates bhOndOO and Shami.

“You guys heard everything?”, bhOndOO’s question in disappointment.

“Not everything.”, Gullu replies and his smile troubles bhOndOO more.

BenJi, “Now, can we all go for dinner? I am very hungry.”.

“Sure, where should we go?”, Tingi.

“Let’s go to some exotic place.”, Chunna suggests looking at Shami.

“No, no. I don’t have much money.”, Munna.

“You don’t have to pay today.”, Mungi suggests looking at bhOndOO.

bhOndOO checks his wallet and gets disappointed to see the credit card there.

“Okay, let’s go. Let’s take the bus to Malleshwaram.”.

bhOndOO curses his friends, but is now relaxed. Shami is not able to speak, nor is she able to stop smiling.

At the bus stop, as they see the bus coming, Gullu turns towards bhOndOO and Shami, “Well, some of you can take an auto.”.

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coffee with shami.

Nov 24, 2007

A fine Saturday morning. Long time since bhOndOO met his advisor, and long time for the next meeting. bhOndOO is relaxed. No nightouts, peaceful sleeps, early wake-ups, and early comings to the lab; and so is today.

bhOndOO is alone in the lab. He is merry, whistling Dil tadap tadap ke kah raha hai aa bhi ja, reading Shami’s scrapbook on Orkut. His Orkut fortune today is Be tactful: Overlook not your own opportunity. He is expecting something nice to happen to him today.

Suddenly, he hears opening of the lab door. Wow! Its Shami! Shami smiles at bhOndOO while entering. bhOndOO does not notice it. He is busy finding and clicking on Home on the screen to get away from Shami’s scrapbook. Damn it! IISc proxy is so slow. While clicking on the button, he realizes that he should react to Shami’s greeting. He looks at Shami who is by now at a distance of five feet and greets (with fear), “Hello.”.

Shami walks past bhOndOO, casually looks at his screen, settles at a machine (not adjacent to that of bhOndOO’s), and starts typing her login. bhOndOO has managed his reputation using the most terrific key-combination of all times in the history of industrialization: Alt+Tab.

bhOndOO re-relaxes himself and notices his screen. Shit!, he exclaims. His Yahoo! mail is showing an advertisement of Bharat Matrimony with a lady smiling at bhOndOO. I hope, she does not misunderstand me.

bhOndOO is cautious now. He is hardly doing anything on his machine. His full concentration is on the girl seated three machines away from him. Shami is typing a reply. The lab bears sounds of her typing and the fan of AC. Will me not typing anything look suspicious? bhOndOO decides to reply to some mail. However, his Yahoo! inbox contains zero mails. No, no. Typing something is very important right now. bhOndOO opens one of the nine spams, clicks on Reply and starts typing.

bhOndOO’s concentration is at ultimatum. For typing thirty words, bhOndOO presses the Backspace button sixty-nine times. This is very bad. Why am I getting tensed? bhOndOO relaxes himself and starts typing slowly — now fully concentrating on his typing.

“bhOndOO, coming for coffee?”. bhOndOO is thunderstruck. Reasons:

  • someone uttered his name.
  • some lady uttered his name.
  • Shami uttered his name.
  • some lady is asking him for coffee.
  • Shami is asking him for coffee.

bhOndOO looks at Shami standing beside him. “Sure.”, bhOndOO mutters involuntarily. He locks his KDE session and gets up. While getting up, he realizes what he saw on screen while locking the terminal: he was replying to Julie and the subject was Re: Cannot forget last night.

bhOndOO looks at Shami and notices no signs of disgust. May be, she did not see it. But what if she did?

They meet a junior on the way and the junior greets them with a smile. From the mocking smile of the junior, bhOndOO realizes that he is going alone with Shami! Oh my God! I never got this chance before! He recollects his Orkut fortune. bhOndOO adjusts his spects, sweeps his hand across his hair, and clears his throat. He is suddenly looking confident — confident to break the ice.

“Going home in Dec?”, bhOndOO asks.

“Ya. I could not go in summer because of the summer course. I must go now. How about you?”.

“No, I am planning to do some paper reading for my research in Dec. I may go home in Feb.”.

Shami nods. This small conversation boosts up bhOndOO’s confidence. Shall I talk to her? Lets get seated first. He remembers the slogan of Cafe Coffee Day: A lot can happen over a cup of coffee. They enter the Tea Board. I must pay for her coffee today. He inserts his hand in the pocket and feels a single coin of five rupees. One coffee costs four rupees.

Are yaar! Why does this happen with me only? They are 10 feet away from the queue and bhOndOO is searching for alternatives:

  • I will not drink coffee.
  • I will ask the shopkeeper for credit. If he does not agree, how about keeping my watch with him?
  • Is there anyone familiar already in the queue?
  • How about me paying for Shami’s coffee and she paying for mine?

Before bhOndOO could decide, Shami says, “I have two coffee-coupons. Don’t get into the queue.”. Though bhOndOO is relieved that the calamity is avoided, he knows that he has also lost the chance of paying for Shami.

They settle at a corner. bhOndOO is all set. He makes up the first statement in the mind: Shami, I love you. The statement gets rejected — by himself. He retries: Shami, I want to talk to you something. This sounds better. Now, bhOndOO is looking for the right opportunity to start talking, without phrasing what he is going to say after the first statement.

bhOndOO’s heart-beats reach ninety per minute. He is trying to talk, but is not able to utter a single word. Is it so difficult to say such things? He quotes to himself: Be brave, man dies only once. He clears his throat, and manages, “Shami…”.

Shami looks up, in astonishment. bhOndOO does not, but Shami knows that bhOndOO never utters her name. She stops drinking her coffee and is looking straight into the eyes of bhOndOO.

The rate is now ninety-five per minute. bhOndOO feels himself lost in the eyes of Shami. He forgets what he is going to say. When he comes to senses, he says, “Um…, the coffee is very nice, isn’t it?”.

Shami smiles, looks down, and nods. bhOndOO curses himself: If this is what was going to be her response, I should have asked whether she loves me.

“Generally, the coffee here is not good compared to the Coffee Board. The Coffee Board has maintained its standard. I heard that they import it from Kerala. However, this coffee (in Tea Board) is what we get in shops.”.

It drops to eighty per minute. After a lot of praise for the coffee, bhOndOO experiences the last sip of coffee, and sees a nice little dead cockroach at the bottom of the cup. Not to contradict his statements, he gulps in the last sip and keeps the cup away from Shami’s eyes.

While going back to the department, bhOndOO decides to do a full rehearsal before proposing.